Radioactive Mutant Animals!
After drinking water at a demolished nuclear weapons lab, a killer radioactive mutant rabbit went bonkers in Washington state! And what do radioactive rabbits do? They poop. Everywhere.
Officials are still tracking down the bunny’s highly dangerous fallout.
No, seriously: jetpacks. Jetpacks with Buzz Lightyear wings.
It may be a Swiss jetpack, but it’s a goddamn jetpack.
We’re not sure if there’s a porno based on Total Recall that goes by this title, but there should be.
Otherwise, it’s just a recall of erection pills, and that’s just dystopian.