We know the Boys Scouts of America are aggressively anti-dick, having stripped at least one open homosexual of his Eagle Scout award and their ongoing policy to remove any gay scouts or leaders from their ranks. But, it’s OK because they’re anti-beaver, too.
A 51-year-old scout leader, Normand Brousseau, was minding his own business, swimming in the Delaware River when a frothy, foaming at the mouth beaver swam betwixt his legs and launched a surprise attack, possibly thinking he was packing wood. Brousseau grabbed the rabid beaver and threw it, but beaver was too quick and caught back up, attacking him until he could securely grab it, hold its mouth shut and throw it again, this time ashore.
And, at that point, it was on the Boy Scout’s turf. Members of his troop punished that mouthy beaver old school, Leviticus-style: they stoned it to death.
If science movies like Outbreak and Nosferatu have taught us anything, it’s that it only takes a single Patient Zero to ruin life as we know it.
Beavers aren’t exactly one of the better kinds of animal in the world. They’re bucktoothed (which means they’re obviously dumb), they’re slow and they dam up rivers for no dam reason … I mean, damn reason! We have no need for them at all. Worse yet, now they’re attacking people!
Little old ladies are often targets for mugging and aggressive home lenders, so it’s natural for an animal to assume along the same lines. As Avis Blakeslee, 77, of Pennsylvania proved, little old ladies can also be tough old broads.