Good morning … or was it? Did you have trouble pulling yourself out of bed to shower a body you hate, go to a job that you never wanted, just so you can send some broken condoms to college in a few years?
You had plans. You were going to be a big deal. An astronaut. A porn star. An astro-porn star-naut. But it didn’t happen.
You know what will make your morning a good one? A steaming hot cup of Schadenfreude.
Remember Rachel Dratch? Yeah, apparently neither did her SNL co-stars. She’ll have her own cup of delicious Schadenfreude soon, though, once Baby Mama tanks at the box office.
Mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.