His believability might not be that reliable

Shaun Winkler is running for sheriff of Bonner County in Idaho.

Shaun Winkler also readily admits his current ties to the Aryan Nations and the Church of Jesus Christ-Scientist (as opposed to the Church of Jesus Christ-Latter Day Saints and the Church of Jesus Christ-Oligarch).

Winkler believes that his ties will not influence his ability to enforce the law fairly and would not be subject to racial profiling.

“Most people don’t know that we don’t just oppose the Jews and the negroes,” he said. “We also oppose sexual predators and drugs of any kind.”

“But if they happen to also be Jews or negroes, hey, awesome, right guys? It’s like a Venn Diagram.” Winkler may have been heard saying subsequently after.

Science still trying to figure out Chuck Berry

Bruce Springsteen may make you think that he’s there for the working class man. Jon Bon Jovi may have you think that the man is an outlaw with a heart of gold. Jack White would you have believe that you can play any instrument as long as you try and stay funky. John Mayer wants to you to see him as a sexual object made for the pleasure of women around the world. Joan Jett needs you to believe in the power of women and rocking out! You know what all of these people don’t have you thinking?

That not being white is the bee’s knees.

At least, that’s what science is telling us now. According to a study coming from the University of Minnesota, rock music makes people racist, in regards to preference.

After listening to Bruce Springsteen and the White Stripes, the students handed most of the money to white people. ‘Rock music is generally associated with white Americans, so we believe it cues white listeners to think about their positive association with their own in-group,’ said Heather LaMarre, an assistant professor of journalism and mass communication at the University of Minnesota. That was enough for them to show more support for a student group representing mostly whites.’

The Roots and the spectre of Chuck Berry’s meter long king kong ding dong could not be available for questions.

Today … in (almost but not quite) racism

Mmmm-mmmm. Sure, they may not be great for you, but sometimes, a big plate of chicken tenders can just hit the spot. And despite the health concerns, even kids can have them every now and then. But at four schools for children in Methuen, Massachusetts, only white people are allowed to eat them.

Okay, not really, but thanks to a typing error, that’s almost how it became. The person in charge of typing up the school menus mistakenly typed an extra ‘K’ for the item ‘KK Chicken Tenders’ (which stands for Krispy and Krunchy Chicken Tenders), resulting in approximately 6500 students being offered the ‘KKK Chicken Tenders’ for lunch. The menus were then republished after the mistake was pointed, thus making them valuable collectors items and worth a large amount of Confed-a-Bux.

For future menus, maybe they should just be called chicken tenders, no extra adjectives given. Just in case.

Today … in racism

With President Barack Obama’s inauguration in January 2009, you might have thought that was the end of racism in America. Don’t worry, mein klein kampfs: there’s still plenty to go around.

Some of you probably already know closet racists. You know, the uncle that “doesn’t want to be racist” but “some stereotypes are just true.” Montana’s chief federal judge, Richard Cebull, found himself in just that predicament. He didn’t want to be racist, yet he forwarded an admittedly racist email depicting the President being sired by his mother and an animal because “it was a bit touching.” Judge Cebull still claims he’s not a racist, but you can’t run from what the heart feels, your honor.

But, did you know that there are still out and proud racists? Illinois Republican congressional candidate Arthur Jones wants you to know that “this idea that 6 million Jews were killed in the Holocaust is the biggest, blackest lie in history.” That’s right: not only is he a “former” member of the Nationalist Socialist White People’s Party, but he even thinks lies are black, too.

It’s good to know that, despite the promises, not everything is subject to change.

Take it from Snee: What do you mean ‘you sandpeople?’

Complaints about racism in Star Wars are far from new, the greatest critique delivered by one Mr. Hooper X in Chasing Amy.

But what about within the universe itself? It’s easy to examine the black and white, so to speak, dynamics of Luke Skywalker versus Darth Vader as the linked clip demonstrates. What’s not so obvious are the racist attitudes of the characters themselves, some of which should know better.

We begin our examination a long, long time ago in … Continue reading Take it from Snee: What do you mean ‘you sandpeople?’

City landscape ‘changed dramatically, tragically and perhaps irreversibly’


That’s how it went, right? I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s how it went, right? I mean, it was over 5 years ago, and my memory isn’t exactly fantastic, but those were Kanye West’s words, right?

The NTPF? Splitters!

When the NAACP challenged the Tea Partiers to denounce racism in their ranks, little did they know that it would be nearly impossible for a splintered group of cells, united only by their general crankiness, to do so when there is no true central authority. (Or did they?)

The National Tea Party Federation has expelled the Tea Party Express from its ranks over a blog post by Express organizer Mark Williams.

The Tea Party Express has countered its expulsion by calling the Federation a silly organization with no authority “to decide who can or cannot participate in a national grass-roots movement.”

So, just to keep track:

“The only people the Tea Party Express hates more than the liberals are the f@#king National Tea Party Federation.

“And the Tea Party Populist People’s Front.

“And the Tea Party Express.

“What? We’re the Tea Party Express?

“Oh. I thought we were the Populist Front.

“Whatever happened to the Populist Front, Reg?

“He’s over there? SPLITTER!”

Down with the racist youth

If there’s one thing The Guys hate, it’s animals. But if we could choose another thing to hate, we’d say racism. We hate any white devil who doesn’t see people of different colors as their equal. This is why we have to deal with the issue of children.

According to a study, most white kids are biased toward lighter skinned people, the same is true to a lesser extent with African-American kids. Why are our kids so racist? Really, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we eliminate children from our society, because their time for preaching hate is over. We need to start picketing outside classrooms, protesting them at their homes, and even deny them cookies as punishment.

The future is too important to leave in the hands of a child.

Kidz Korner: Klassroom Edition

Hey, kidz! It’s been awhile since the court allowed us to run one of our Kidz Korner features, which is so very, very whack. But, we’re back, so it’s time for us to talk–no grown-ups allowed.

If you’re a student in Arizona, then you might have noticed your mommies and daddies frothing at the mouth a bit, especially if they’re European-Americans. It may seem a little crazy or wrong, especially when they’re trying to get rid of your Mexican-American teachers and students.

Just make sure you know that it’s not racist. Continue reading Kidz Korner: Klassroom Edition

Overly friendly people are messed up in the head, but not racist

People with Williams Syndrome lack 26 genes found in a typical human genome. As a result they are inordinately friendly, and experience no social anxiety. Now a new study reveals that they may also be free of racial bias.

PRAM-II consists of a picture book where every page includes a pair of people of different genders or skin types. The researcher tells a selection of stories to accompany the images and the children have to point to the person whom they think the story is about. As they hear positive or negative adjectives, they reveal any underlying racial bias if they point to light-skinned or dark-skinned people, or men or women, more frequently.

The typical children showed a strong tendency to view light-skinned people well and dark-skinned people poorly. Out of their responses, 83% were consistent with a pro-white bias. In contrast, the children with Williams syndrome only showed such responses 64% of the time, which wasn’t significantly different from chance.

So it would seem that removing social fear from the human emotional range might also cut down on racism. Though it’s worth noting that it wouldn’t help with sexism, since Williams Syndrome kids scored close to typical kids when it came to gender bias. But there are also problems with the PRAM test, which limits children to choosing either white people or people of color – there is no option to choose both, or “either one.”

Still, we’re left with further evidence that racial bias and racism are connected to social fear. Now all we need to do is sit back and wait for the studies that show whether taking meth helps eradicate racial bias too.

Also, I’d like to point out to everyone that link underneath the headline sounds like a horribly hilarious scientific story.