Eat My Sports: Tournament time

SHOT.

Let’s start this all off by congratulating Radford University. That’s right, folks: our alma mater is in the big dance for the second time in school history and their first appearance since 1998. Our starting lineup was suspended for academic reasons for most of The Guys’ time there, so this whole playing-into-late-March-thing is kind of new to us.

So, here’s to you, RU: you’re in the dance for the first time since the Goo Goo Dolls were still famous, and you’re probably going to get pounded by UNC. Represent us well; the game will be a blur ’cause UNC is fast, and — like any red-blooded Highlander — you recognize your college time is short and started drinking at noon.

Like most people that will be skipping work on Thursday, I spent the better part of my Monday filling out my office (bar) bracket. My Final Four looked a lot different by the time I finished than I thought it would. Honestly, it was a little weird stomaching my choices at first, but in the end, like Stiffler eating the dog turd in American Wedding, I made my decision and knew it was the right one. Don’t be afraid to trust me; after all, I did predict Texas going all the way with Kevin Durant two years ago … Continue reading Eat My Sports: Tournament time

A Day in the Life of a 911 Operator

No matter how exciting of a job we have, eventually it becomes mundane. There’s nothing unconscionable about becoming desensitized to, say, emergency savings withdrawals or organizing a staff potluck. But we still feel bad because that’s what we’re paid to do (read: supposed to care about).

So can you imagine how a 911 operator must feel when the honeymoon’s over? One in Memphis actually fell asleep during a robbery call. In the interest of giving the benefit of doubt, we present: A Day in the Life of a 911 Operator. Continue reading A Day in the Life of a 911 Operator

Take it from Snee: Why the world needs the Whimlander

Today’s “Take it from Snee” is a joint-effort with our little sister publication, Radford University’s Whim Internet Magazine. To fill in SG readers who don’t know the Whimlander, he’s an undead Scottish warrior who was resurrected from the days of William Wallace to protect Whim from all enemies, foreign and domestic. Since I spent a few weeks with the Whimlander back in 2007 to play him in Whimlander: The Movie, I wrote this article as part of Whimlander Awareness Week.

My personal/professional history with the Whimlander is long and storied, as evidenced by my previous articles on him: “I spent the night with the Whimlander” and “Why the world doesn’t need the Whimlander.” If you didn’t read those other articles, don’t bother looking for them. (Like I said, long and storied.)

The point is that I was wrong when I said the world doesn’t need the Whimlander. The current state of the world—and the check from the Whimlander Awareness Program—has convinced me that the Whimlander provides a service to not only Whim Internet Magazine, but the entire world that no mere Superman or Highlander could ever aspire to.

Continue reading Take it from Snee: Why the world needs the Whimlander