Palin goes full retard, drags rest of U.S. with her

Sarah Palin kicked off a new Profile in Sadness this week by being offended by Rahm Emmanuel’s use of the word “retarded” to describe a retarded idea in a strategy session meeting.

Though Palin was not in attendance, she is demanding that the White House fire the White House Chief of Staff, claiming that it was just like Emmanuel called her son, Trig, the “N-word.” (Why do white people always pull out the n-word like it’s their go-to?) The Guys would bet dollars to donuts that she thought the staffers’ plan actually had something to do with her spawn.

But, she’s not the only one to behave like a retard in this situation: Emmanuel called Tim Shriver, CEO of the Special Olympics, to apologize. Tim Shriver doesn’t even have a mental handicap. That’s like apologizing to a car wash after you keyed someone’s pickup.

Of course, the Special Olympics is using the opportunity to “Spread the Word to End the Word.” And by “the word,” they mean “retarded”: a word they haven’t used in years to describe their participants, nor do the rest of us. We do use it, however, to refer to people that accidentally blow their nuts off or think Africa is a country.

Look, folks. Nobody cares if we use the words “stupid,” “idiot,” “moron,” “dumb” or “imbecile,” and they all have the same origin as “retarded.” Acting retarded will not make people with mental disabilities feel like they’re in good company because they’re not retarded.

At the end of the day, do we really want to live in a world where we can’t call Democrats “f#%king retarded” for proposing to launch an ad campaign against their own congresspeople in an election year?