Hey, parents: when your child brings something in for show and tell, make sure you know what they’re bringing beforehand. You know, just in case. This is especially important if they decide to bring something that is yours rather than theirs. After all, this isn’t the seventies anymore, and not everything needs to be passed around the room.
OK, so the U.S. Supreme Court has good news and bad news. Which would you like first?
We’re sorry. You should speak up louder when addressing your computer, especially if you’re at work. We’ll just assume you said, “Good news first.”
The good news is that if you’re a a juvenile delinquent, then you can no longer receive a life sentence for your crimes unless you kill someone … intentionally. So, this is kind of bad news if you’re a parent and lack the stones to “take out” the bad seed you “brought in to this world.” The system won’t do it for you anymore. (That’s not our “bad news,” though.)
The bad news is that you can still be held indefinitely for sex crimes, which are not murder. So, if you’re gonna have sex with your high school girlfriend (assuming you’re in high school or a famous film director), make sure you have her parents’ consent first.
So, keep your hands gloved and your hard drive clean; otherwise, you’re grounded for life.