Take it from Snee: ‘No homo’

I love how the hip-hop community was worried that all their battle songs sound gay. Not derogatory gay, but really, really gay. Like “touched if my friends call their wedding a ‘commitment ceremony’” gay.

I can imagine the setting when they came up with “no homo.” DJ Fistmaster is taking a break from a hot and heavy lyrics session, wondering if he came a little too strong onto Dirty Lil’ $anchez when he metaphorically said he would “nut in his eye/ ‘cause he’s a pretty little guy.” Continue reading Take it from Snee: ‘No homo’

Take it from Snee: We, the world, say enough

Most of the Guys may be a little young to remember 1985-1986, the year when you couldn’t escape “We Are the World.” Well, I had to participate in several performances of it all the way up to 1989. (Some music experts credit elementary schools’ adoration of the song as the progenitor of “Kidz Bop.” Think about that.)

Well, the ghosts of Michael Jackson and Lionel Ritchie are at it again.

Dozens of “singers”–nearly twice the number of the 1985 recording–have been invited to remake the song, with a few modified lyrics, for Haitian earthquake relief.

You’re probably wondering why I think this charitable work is a bad idea (other than that I’m horrible person who hates everything). I’m glad you kind of asked: Continue reading Take it from Snee: We, the world, say enough

Respect the Putin

As the saying goes, there ain’t no party like a Moscow party, because a Moscow party don’t stop.

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, who you may know as a politician, showed off his mad rapping skills on Russia’s version of MTV. OK, well really he was just there to talk, but hey, he may have rhymed in his own language.

“I do not think that ‘top-rock’ or ‘down-rock’ breakdance technique is compatible with alcohol or drugs,” Putin told cheering hip-hoppers who responded with chants of “Respect, Vladimir Vladimirovich.”

Putin is pretty gangsta, after all. Remember the campaign for who would be his replacement as president? Anyone who stepped to him got capped in the ass–except with radiation poisoning.

Doing the bump may require waggle

Hammer, don’t hurt the gamers!

M.C. Hammer may just be back! According to his Twitter (only the latest social networking craze as of late — come visit SG’s now), he

“got one day to recover ,then it’s LA to Activision to get a glance of a top secrete project on Monday … Cannot wait !!!”

Which, you know, could be possibly and utterly horrifying if secrete is not a misspelling … which we are desperately hoping. Of course, the same could be said of a video game project involving M.C. Hammer. I mean, I love the absurd and nonsensical lyrics of Can’t Touch This just as much as the next human being, if I see something along the lines of “Bankrupt Rapper Hero” being greenlit, I may go on a murder spree.

Three, six, nine, damn good wine

Wine is one of the snootier forms of alcohol (rivaled only by mouthwash). But it seems the wine industry as a whole is about to be shaken up a bit. In news we swear we aren’t making up, rapper Lil Jon will soon begin selling his own brand of wine.

Lil Jon, often seen with a pimp chalice, and well-known fan of the drink, apparently is not only drinking Crunk Juice or sipping on Cristal. No, it seems he often enjoys a merlot, the ballingest of the wine kingdom. The Associated Press story fails to mention a release date, but fear not, Lil Jonathan Winery (yes, that is really the name) will probably drop sometime this year.

His next venture remains open to speculation, but this blog is not willing to rule out shaving cream, toilet paper and of course, construction as possibilities.

“‘I’m not no “drink wine every day” kind of dude,’ he said in a telephone interview. ‘I’m not like an expert, so don’t ask me no questions … I just like the taste.'”