Take it from Snee: Women see mysteriously

Women are a mystery that have perplexed great minds, from Steven Hawking to male Congressmen and, finally, myself. I’ve spent the better part of a year trying to get down to the bottom of the Other Gender (without implying that they’re fat). And, every time I think I’ve got them just about figured out, another question comes up.

So, it’s once more unto the breach, my friends. That is, until that breach secretes hormones to shut us down. Welcome to part three of “Women are Mysterious,” in which I take into account new scientific research that indicates that women even see differently from men …  Continue reading Take it from Snee: Women see mysteriously

Take it from Snee: Lightning Round of Rape Jokes

Daniel Tosh recently issued an apology for what someone quoting somebody else on Tumblr described as comedy word rape. It was probably the best way for Tosh to handle the situation given that nobody wants to even remotely look like they’re defending rape. And if things went down they way the anonymous friend-of-a-friend says, then yeah, apology (his) and scorn (hers) deserved.

However, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard that it’s never acceptable to joke about rape. (The last time I was told this was by a drunk pseudo-lesbian trying to axe kick my head, so you can see how well I learned.) It’s also not the first time I’ve heard that it’s wrong to joke about cancer, AIDS, 9/11, abortion, poverty, drugs, war, spiders or death.

I’ve heard the explanation: it’s wrong to trivialize things that people find morally repugnant. Or, really: it’s wrong to make people laugh about things they find morally repugnant because making them laugh involuntarily is rape. It’s never, of course: people shouldn’t laugh at jokes about morally repugnant things.

Although I think the principal is as admirable as it is misguided, I agree in one regard: I wish painful, terrible topics weren’t fodder for comedy, because that would mean they aren’t problems any more. After all, do you think your average 23rd Century Federation citizen would get jokes about poverty or gender and racial inequality? Not unless they’ve been hanging around Ferengi gree worm farmers. (Yeah, I said it.)

But, here: I’ll let you be the judge. How morally wrong is it to tell these jokes? Continue reading Take it from Snee: Lightning Round of Rape Jokes

Are you a man or a rapist?

We can only assume that’s the way Courtney Love feels the Oscar-winning song from The Muppets should be titled. That’s right, Courtney Love has decided to arise in the world once more, this time shouting the dreaded r-word (resplendent?) from the high heavens in the direction of Jim Henson’s lovable creations.

2011’s The Muppets had the indignity – no, the sheer gall – to use Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” during its run-time without asking Love if they could! Doing so was nothing short of raping her!

Except for one small thing:

Love sold half of her rights to Cobain’s catalog to Primary Wave Music, and that this company not only approved the use of the song, but it also secured the approval of the song’s co-writers Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl

Oh. Courtney, maybe you should go back to that hole in the wall you were living in.

There’s a complication behind implication

So, it seems that some people in the world find rape to be a pretty touchy subject. That’s understandable, what with the ickiness behind the act, the philosophies behind the meaning of it taking place and Ice-T’s lisp. Seriously, that’s one cop that hates the letter S. Nonetheless, it’s not that much of a stretch to say that the strong majority of people in existence find rape to fall on the bad side of the line.

So, it’s also understandable for people to be a wee bit upset when a judge utters the line that

sex was in the air

in regards to a sexual assault case he was presiding over after giving  a man accused of rape a two-year conditional sentence.

The judge pointed out the victim and her friend were dressed in tube tops, no bras, and high heels and noted they were wearing plenty of makeup.

We’re not going to say that the judge was making a legal precedent for “with the way she was dressed, she was asking for it,” mainly because we’re not lawyers. Or judges. But we will imply it!

This won’t be abused at all

Besides testing out a version of football that doesn’t allow the use of hands, the 2010 World Cup is also an experiment for a new anti-rape condom.

Rape-aXe is the brainchild of South African Dr. Sonnet Ehlers. It is a latex condom worn inside the vagina that is lined with “teeth-like hooks” that latch onto a rapist’s penis. Any attempts to remove the device by hand will cause it to constrict tighter, but will not break the skin.

Rape may never be funny, but the prank potential of anti-rape devices is hilarious. Like, say you find somebody’s Fleshlight or Real Doll.

Schadenfreude: ‘She was asking for it’

There are many fine coffees in the world, many found in France, Switzerland and other countries with no extradition laws. The rest of us must settle for Dunkin’ Donuts.

Or, there’s also the ultimate pick-me-up: Schadenfreude.

Roman Polanski, who gets to enjoy those special international blends, recently spoke to the press about his unfinished sentence for drugging and having “unlawful intercourse” with a 13-year-old girl.

Polanski complained about the Los Angeles prosecutors’ who are using the case for publicity. (We’d use their names, but none of the news stories identified them.)

The Academy Award-winning director begged “only to be treated fairly like everyone else.” To which L.A. prosecutors replied, “We’re trying to.

Mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.

Oh sure, support the rapists

Marine biologists are currently arguing that dolphins deserve their own form of equal rights.

Just like Bryan Schools’ desire to wear corsets, they are horribly, horribly wrong.

The basis for the debate is a bit of recent research. Studies have revealed a huge amount of evidence for both the breadth and depth of dolphin intelligence. Dolphins have (according to the crazy people) displayed self-awareness, unique personalities, the capability to think about the future, complex cooperation and group problem-solving, the ability to not only recognize themselves in mirrors but also use it to look at different parts of their bodies and even the capacity to learn symbol-based language.

But wait-there’s more. Apparently, there is also anatomical evidence to support the case for high dolphin intelligence. The ratio of brain mass to the overall mass of the body in dolphins is second only to that of humans, exceeding even that of chimpanzee’s.

This is highly, highly unfortunate news to hear. People don’t seem to realize that dolphins are the jerks of the sea. They’ll regularly group up to take out a shark or whatever prey that they’re hunting. Now, while we at SG do appreciate a civil war of sorts behind the front lines of the enemy, we also appreciate the characteristic of nobility. In that regard, does no one acknowledge the sadistic nature of their penchant for rape? Does no one remember the historical account (only the names and faces of the parties involved have been changed) of when a dolphin raped a hard-working American man for no reason at all? Shameful. Congratulations to Diana Reiss and Lori Marino for orchestrating a massive cover-up of such wanton behavior.

You know how rape isn’t supposed to be funny?

Tell that to Alaskan sex offender, Alec Ahsoak, who won a lottery that funds Standing Together Against Rape in Alaska.

Part of the reason behind the group is that — call them prudes, but — rape is wrong. Also, Alaska sports the highest rape per capita of any population outside of a federal prison.

But did that stop the group’s leader from raping the definition of irony?

“With a ranking that high, it’s ironic that the person who wins is a convicted sex offender,” said Nancy Haag, Executive Director of the group.

Nope, when you have the highest rape rate per person in a state that is that cold, the irony is that a sex offender didn’t win their lottery.