The most unimaginable results

“How would you describe your pain on a scale from 0 to 10, 0 meaning ‘none at all’ and 10 meaning ‘the most imaginable?'”

If you’ve ever gone to the hospital for anything other than a check-up or to laugh at sick people, then you’ve been asked this question. And after years of asking patients for their completely subjective interpretation of a pain scale ranging from none to Michael Bay, medical professionals have finally learned something: men are more imaginative than women.

Comparing the results of men’s responses to women’s yielded a full point difference on average, with women more likely to rate their pain higher towards “the most imaginable.” Men, meanwhile — conditioned on Predator movies and The Three Stooges — are more likely to believe that a new, higher level of pain almost always exists above where they are. We’re pretty sure it involves testicles and a juicer.

Take it from Snee: The King’s Naughty Speech

The Oscar nominations were announced this week, which means it’s time for the average American to pretend to care about non-explodey movies.

The one film that most people will lie about seeing when writing their “Top 2010 Movies” lists is The King’s Speech. Let’s not kid ourselves: it’s about a British king, but not one that fights battles alongside talking animals. This movie wasn’t made; it was grown in a lab to take up space in your Netflix cue.

But Miramax head, Harvey Weinstein (whose last name can’t decide how to pronounce “-ein”), has a plan: editing out the swearing to bump it down to a PG-13 or PG rating. This makes sense because the movie has seriously been hurt by the lack of grade schoolers asking their parents, “Who’s Winston Churchill?” in a crowded theater.

What might such a movie sound like, long before it reaches even basic cable? Read on for Harry, England and St. George! Continue reading Take it from Snee: The King’s Naughty Speech