Nevermore

Animals are not human. That is one of the biggest things that separates us from the animals (the biggest: we are able to update our Facebook status).

But in Alaska, the humans are often surrounded by animals, so they form illegal bonds, and start attaching human characteristics to them. That is why this story claims birds are “mourning” the death of some ravens. This simply isn’t true.

Sure, some ravens got zapped on a power line, but that was intentional. We wanted the other birds to swoop in and see what happened. We wanted them to know that we assassinated those birds and the same thing would happen to them, too, unless they stayed the hell away from our children, our homes and our cars.