Washington Redskins ‘thrilled’ to win right to slur by proxy

The Washington Redskins: the Aunt Jemima of football — legally protected, but oof.

The Washington Redskins have long been a team of contradictions and frustrations — always trying to have it both ways.

They talk every year about how this is the draft where they take building a defense seriously, and then throw away millions and risk the franchise tag on the latest and (once) greatest wide receivers. They’ve thrown their weight behind 20 different quarterbacks and eight head coaches in 20 years, and it’s only a matter of time before they turn on their latest ones.

And now that the Asian-American punk band, The Slants, won their U.S. Supreme Court case to trademark a racial slur, owner Dan Snyder¬†is “thrilled” that his team’s name — which was previously not a slur, but “an honor” — is now likely a legally protected slur.

While The Guys fully agree that the government should stay out of deciding which speech is offensive and isn’t (well, until the next debate over National Endowment for the Arts funding), it’s probably not great if your name is only kosher because of free speech. Welcome to the same legal defense as the Klan, the Westboro Baptists and every dude with a strong opinion about feminism online.

But, hey, we’re proof positive that you can’t legislate common decency.

Take it from Snee: The ‘R’ Word

"Oh, but it's OK for Costas to 'play Indian?!'"
“Oh, but it’s OK for Costas to ‘play Indian?!'”

During the Redskins-Cowboys Sunday Night Football Game, Redskins fans — including yours truly — were very, very quiet on social media.

This isn’t too surprising when Skins fans have found ourselves lost in the wilderness, shocked at the difference between the first six weeks of this season and last year’s playoff appearance. Throw on top of that a Dallas squad that is clearly dominating the NFC East — although, it is the NFC East — and it’s only natural for us to completely retreat from the usual banter online with our rivals. (Except, of course, for our friends at Redskins Breakdown, who are more than living up to their name this year.)

But, it only took an editorial from Bob Costas about the team name during halftime to rile the fans back up again. I will admit that, between Costas’ delivery and the timing, it felt like a kick while we were already down.

The online reactions from my fellow fans, however, seems a bit familiar, though. We like to assure everyone that we don’t say “redskins” with any malice or ugliness. We save that ugliness for arguing about why we should be able to, though. Continue reading Take it from Snee: The ‘R’ Word

Take it from Snee: Time to retire ‘Redskins’

As a Washington Redskins fan, my season ended several weeks ago. But, like a premature ejaculator at an orgy, I wasn’t about to start relating my play-by-play performance until everyone else in the room is done. Fortunately, I get to enjoy watching better athletes at their peak and first dibs at the orgy buffet table. Unfortunately, those athletes were the 49ers and the Ravens, and this metaphor is officially done.

Classy orgy buffets have a lot of pineapple to improve the flavor and smell of all the semen.
Classy orgy buffets have a lot of pineapple to improve the flavor and smell of all the semen.

Now that the 2012 NFL season is officially over, fellow Washington fans have a long off-season to fret over RGIII’s knee, especially since the Capitols are spectacularly terrible right now.

But, what if we used this off-season more productively … say to rename one of only two NFL teams that you have to scan the room before you say their name out loud. (The other is the Cardinals, because you never know who the Church has forced to keep quiet about sexual abuse.) Continue reading Take it from Snee: Time to retire ‘Redskins’