Tag: reform

Doctor prefers Republican penises

Dr. Jack Cassell of Florida (where else?) put a sign on his door: “If you voted for Obama … seek urologic care elsewhere.”

Cassell defended his sign, saying that he’s not actively turning patients away, “but if they read the sign and turn the other way,” then it f#%king worked. So, if you disagree with the pee-pee doctor’s politics, then you’re just gonna have to care for your new Candiru yourself.

Personally, we applaud Cassell’s efforts. It’s not every day that a doctor let’s you know he’s lousy at his profession before you even walk in the door. That’s service.

Take it from Snee: Time to feel good

Health care reform was signed into law this week. Half the country is not happy. They feel like everything they know about health care and the insurance industry (which is, by design of both systems, not much) has been turned on its head and that this is the beginning of the end of America.

I could write a counter-argument about why they’re exaggerating this situation, trying to vilify the half of America that thinks it’s a good idea.

I could ignore them and celebrate a minuscule victory that, in the long scheme, will matter very little to the day-to-day lives of most people.

But both of those options would just be an insult to their pain. The way I figure, the debate’s over, so it’s time to get back together. To reunite over the things that we all love and hate. Here is the list that could very well usher in a new era of harmony … until the next bill is proposed.

(Please send all Nobel Peace Prizes to my work address. I’ve got some coworkers in dire need of a good flauntin’.) Continue reading Take it from Snee: Time to feel good

Who gives a f#%k?

ABC News wants to know what you think about grown-up Joe Biden using the *gasp* F-word at a recent press event!

Weak hearts and simple minds are allegedly a-flutter because the Vice President described the passage of health care reform as “a big f#%king deal.” Was he wrong? Does it not matter? Even if you disagree with the bill, doesn’t the ushering-in of socialism merit a “BFD?”

How are you handling Joe’s language? Do you need to sit down? Maybe a nice warm glass of “Go f#%k yourself” will calm your prissy nerves.

Ask Dr. Snee: Who’s gonna pay for this abortion?

Good day, eh? (I’m practicing my Canadian for when the country becomes socialist and I’m forced to flee.)

Anyway, I know I just gave you medical advice on Wednesday, so you’re probably wondering what this is all aboo–ahem, about.

As a doctor, I’m concerned about health care. As a male, I’m concerned with not being a father while I still have boat payments to make.

Right now, those two concerns are hand-in-hand, making a wringing motion so fierce that I won’t have the wrist strength to masturbate later. Continue reading Ask Dr. Snee: Who’s gonna pay for this abortion?