British PM fails to drown sheep

Only farmer Julian Tustian was happy to see that British PM Cameron failed to kill Swampy. (Why do sheep farmers wear camouflage? Ewe don't want to know.)
Only farmer Julian Tustian was happy to see that British PM Cameron failed to kill Swampy. (Why do sheep farmers wear camouflage? Ewe don’t want to know.)

Politically, it seems that British Prime Minister David Cameron can’t do anything right. His economy sucks and his poll numbers are sinking fast. And now? He can’t drown a sheep, not even with the help of two police bodyguards and Grade A swamp mud.

‘When I got there, David (Cameron) was in the swamp, waist-deep in mud, along with the two police,’ farmer Julian Tustian told the Daily Telegraph. ‘He was brilliant, pulling, pushing and shoving. He was covered in mud, he looked a mess.’

Nevertheless, the sheep got free and will live as a constant reminder of Cameron’s failure to drown nature’s third dumbest mammal. (The first two are ibexes and guinea pigs.) Until the U.K. repairs this leadership vacuum, the U.S. will not be able to trust them as an ally in the War on Animals, no matter how many critters they bake into pies.

They are helping each other!

This blog talks about it, surmises it and even reads between the headlines to find it. But there is no denying it this time. The animals are working together.

In New Zealand, two pygmy sperm whales (you can tell they are pygmies by their short stature and nose rings) lay beached on … well, a beach earlier today. Then a bottlenose dolphin came up and showed the disoriented whales the way back to sea. There is no denying they are on the same side and are trying to save each other for some massive attack that is coming very soon.

It should also be noted that there were human traitors trying to rescue the whales.

“‘They kept getting disorientated and stranding again,’ said Smith, who was among the rescuers. ‘They obviously couldn’t find their way back past (the sandbar) to the sea.'”

Yeah, well that’s when you let beaching whales lie. If they are too stupid to find water, something which they call their home their entire lives, then it’s time they become seagull food.