Tag: research

The pink elephant in the room

Americans have made great strides in quitting smoking … well, some Americans.

It turns out that a large percentage of modern smokers don’t support a daily habit nicotine habit, but smoke cigarettes “part-time.” Researchers are trying to figure out why people occasionally indulge in something that’s dangerous, tastes good, relieves stress and gives you something to do with your hands when surrounded by strangers. (In other news: people still eat Hot Pockets between trips to McDonald’s.)

But, of all the scenarios that The Wall Street Journal lays out, they left out the most obvious prompt for casual smokers to indulge: drinking.

It’s well known that booze and smokes go hand-in-hand. Alcohol shares all of the same benefits listed above with tobacco, but also blocks out shameful memories when you go too far with it.

What’s interesting, though, is that the article only focuses on cigarettes. Why not cigars or pipes? What about hookah? It’s pretty obvious that whoever did this research clearly does not smoke.

Maybe old people won’t get hearing AIDS

Flicking is commonly known as "The Italian Goodbye."

Good news, everybody! Researchers have discovered antibodies that keep HIV from evolving into full-blown AIDS.

As we all know, it’s not HIV that kills a person, but the multiplication of the virus that leaves the body unable to fight other infections, like the flu or jock itch. But, you can pretty much live with HIV for the rest of your life (however long that may be).

So, good-bye fear of AIDS! Hello, shared needles!*

*Disclaimer: The Guys don’t share needles without protection. We always inject ourselves through a condom.

Take it from Snee: There’s no challenge here

This week, I’m gonna do something a little different. Rather than just spout off about the news, I’m going to give you, the readers, a chance to hang up here in the white space of the column with the big dogs.

On December 18, 2009, I issued a challenge to those of you who were angry at my article, “Tattoo discrimination? In the U.S.?!” The rules were simple:

1) If you can show me one (1) photograph that proves there is a non-tattooed prisoner on Death Row, I will get a tattoo, and I will publish it on this site and on yours.

2) The inmate doesn’t have to currently serve on Death Row, but the photo should be somewhat recent, no earlier than 1980. (In other words, don’t bother submitting clean-cut Depression-era murderers and rapists.)

That proved too hard for you. It’s OK; your tattoos probably got you rejected from all of the good schools (::eye roll::).

So, I simplified the rules:

3) I will accept a letter from a reliable source, like from a prison warden or coroner, in lieu of a photograph.

After that simplification — where one would only need to visit, write, call, or email a prison — you would think that someone, anyone, among you sad souls would follow through on this.

Instead, I received this: Continue reading Take it from Snee: There’s no challenge here