When it comes time to make a decision on where to move, especially out of state, one needs to consider many things: school systems, laws, local predators, proximity to bars, and probably taxes too. Well my friends, if proximity to bars and taxes were on your list, combine the two and you have Rhode Island with one of the lowest alcohol taxes nation-wide.
Considering there is nothing else to do there, might as well drink right?
If you’re reading this page on your phone while driving, you may want to look up for a second because a playground just merged into your lane.
According to a study at the University of Utah, only 2.5 percent of people can sufficiently do two things at once, like curl their hair and burp a baby.
If you’re not one of these 2.5 percent and attempt to drive and talk on the phone, then you’re an idiot. If you are one of these 2.5 percent, then you’re a “supertasker,” which makes you sound like an idiot.
In Other News:
New England drivers can breathe a sigh of relief. Rhode Island is finally getting its drivers off the road.
Rhode Island is getting a push to have the state’s official name changed. No, it will not be known as Rhode Ochocinco, but rather it will more than likely drop the “and Providence of Plantations” from the end of its name in order to no longer be associated with slavery.
Suggested name changes by The Guys for other states:
Animals hate everything we stand for–it’s no secret. But it is becoming clearer lately that not only are they so hateful of us that they are willing to engage in the more traditional, aggressive attacks, but also passive-aggressive ones. Pets are a method of draining the average human of their monetary resources. Now, it seems they are willing to try the same tactics on our government.
A pet duck in Rhode Island was born with a neurological disorder that keeps it from walking. In any other country, that would make the pet duck a pet lunch, but here in America, the quacker is taking Uncle Sam for a ride, getting a scooter to help assist in its walking. This blog can only assume it was paid for by Medicare.
Let’s keep in mind that this duck does not hold a job, nor does it pay taxes. In fact, this blog is willing to bet the duck comes from generations of tax- (and axe-) dodging ducks. Yet our tax dollars are paying to keep this duck alive and comfortable.
