Bear arms: Siberian bear steals guns

To own a gun means you have a lot of responsibility. Chief among those is keeping your weapon secured when you are not using it, so it won’t get stolen by a bear.

In Siberia, locals are likely on edge after it was reported that a bear broke into a man’s cabin and stole two guns. The man said he went to a nearby river to get water, and when he returned, he hid when he saw a brown bear was tearing apart his place. The bear eventually left with a bag that contained a hunting rifle and an assault rifle.

The only good news is that the bear is probably going to hibernate soon. It will be much easier to disarm then.

South and South: The nonalcoholic drums of war

In our continuing coverage of the border dispute between Tennesse and Georgia, emotions are running high. Not only does Georgia want Tennessee’s water, but they also want to turn at least one Tennessee town dry.

Citizens of Copperhill, Tenn. share half of their city with McCaysville, Ga. The Tennesse half serves alcohol; the Georgia side hates America. If Georgia lawmakers get their way and move the Georgia border north one mile, Copperhill will become part of McCaysville’s dry county.

This latest development means the war is no longer about resources, but a way of life. It will surely come to violence now:

“Even 14-year-old Michelle Martinez, walking home from school in Copperhill, grimaced at the suggestion of suddenly living in another state.

“‘If I wanted to live in Georgia I’d [invade] down there,’ she said[, shaking her grandpappy’s rifle in the direction of those teetotalling so’s-and-so’s].”