Tag: rifle

There is no reason for civilians to own bassoons

If you think you can just walk around in public carrying a bassoon in Ohio, think again. The law is going to come knocking.

Ohio has tough anti-woodwind laws in place that are being challenged in court, but for now they are still on the books. Recently, a New England Conservatory student home on break decided to play his bassoon outdoors. He sat on the trunk of his car and began playing scales. A few minutes later, the cops showed up. Someone reported a man with a long rifle sitting on his car.

Luckily, the police didn’t overreact. They slowly made their way over to the student until he was disarmed. We can only hope that he’s rotting in jail.

South and South: The nonalcoholic drums of war

In our continuing coverage of the border dispute between Tennesse and Georgia, emotions are running high. Not only does Georgia want Tennessee’s water, but they also want to turn at least one Tennessee town dry.

Citizens of Copperhill, Tenn. share half of their city with McCaysville, Ga. The Tennesse half serves alcohol; the Georgia side hates America. If Georgia lawmakers get their way and move the Georgia border north one mile, Copperhill will become part of McCaysville’s dry county.

This latest development means the war is no longer about resources, but a way of life. It will surely come to violence now:

“Even 14-year-old Michelle Martinez, walking home from school in Copperhill, grimaced at the suggestion of suddenly living in another state.

“‘If I wanted to live in Georgia I’d [invade] down there,’ she said[, shaking her grandpappy’s rifle in the direction of those teetotalling so’s-and-so’s].”