Spider-Man: Does whatever a libruhl can

Following Sarah Palin’s attack on the media … to the media, other unfortunate GOP mouthpieces are tripping over their shoelaces to cry about unfair tactics.

The latest big nasty libruhl elitist? The Amazing Spider-Man.

Debbie Schlussel attacked the decidedly campy inauguration issue, where Spidey foils a plot by the Chameleon to ruin Obama’s big day, as “[embodying] their far-left ideology.” He almost got away with saving the President, if it wasn’t for “the fist bump!”

Look, folks, let’s get something straight here: they’re absolutely right. (Not just rightist.)

The news media is all written by one person, Al Peterson. (Notice the eerie similarity to Al Qaeda?) Al writes for all news media publications out there. If it doesn’t attack conservatives, then it’s not a news piece … because Al didn’t write it.

The same goes for comic books. All those writing credits and different publications are just a front for one actual comic book writer, and boy oh boy, does he hate Republicans. Sure, every president since FDR has been saved by every comic book superhero, but it’s all in how they do it.

For instance, it’s pretty cool to be saved by Spider-Man and be called a hero. It’s not so cool to be saved by Aquaman, who then asks you for cab fare back to the coast. (You know, because your economic policies failed.)

So, if you’ve been personally insulted today by news you didn’t want to read, chances are you’re a conservative, and yes, we will feel your pain. (Pussy.)

Take it from Snee: Lightning Round

Alright, everyone here? OK, good.

Look, I don’t have a lot of time today, so I’m not gonna type up a bunch of crap about why I’m right. I’m just gonna cut to the chase and tell you why you’re wrong.

What follows are pieces of conventional “wisdom” (I’m using the term very lightly) and what’s wrong with these turd nuggets. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Lightning Round

Take it from Snee: About college shootings

Today is an important milestone for SeriouslyGuys: we’ve hit the two-year mark. In the past year alone, we’ve made huge changes. We write more (which might be good or bad). We switched over to our own hosting and got rid of Blogger. We changed our look to blend more seamlessly into the AIDS quilt that is Web 2.0. We even consented to selling merch to pay for our hosting and domain. And we couldn’t do any of it without you, the reader, and your wallet.

According to some Facebook profile, Ronald Reagan said, “The right thing is not always popular, and the popular thing is not always right.” We’ve awarded the President of Our Hearts posthumous Guy status for this statement (and for eating communist babies to make more room in the world for capitalist ones).

For the past two years, The Guys have taken some tough stands that weren’t always popular. While the rest of the world TiVos Animal Planet, Planet Earth and Planet of the Apes, we advocate taking the world back for humans before its too late and we’re all speaking dolphin. Everyone believes that more education will improve America; we know that’s hogwash. A lot of “experts” out there suggest we drink in moderation; if we did that, you wouldn’t have this Web site to make your work week more bearable.

This tradition of righteousness compels me to take a stand on college shootings.

Continue reading Take it from Snee: About college shootings