Saddest kickball game in the world

If you think the rivalry between Camp Icheewicheetumtum and Camp Howzyafather for control over the Peepeehat Totem is intense, then think again.

The Gaza Strip is home to the biggest summer camp grudge since Meatballs: the scrappy, can-do U.N. campers vs. the militarized Hamas jocks. In fact, some masked men–believed to be Hamas counselors–raided the U.N. camp, “tying up guards and slashing tents and an inflatable pool.”

To date, the Hamas summer camp has refused to comply with U.N. requests, like permitting inspectors to take stock of their toilet paper supplies or appraise the content of their bug juice.

While Hamas police officers regret the bullying of their summer camp, hardliners opposed to the U.N. camp that teaches young men “folklore dancing” and other “weenie activities.”

Said one Hamas legislator: “NEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRDS!”

Eat My Sports: Can’t spell ‘sports entertainment’ without ‘sports’

Bryan Schools is still learning what it’s like to go the rest of his life without sex, so I’m filling in for him this week. Here’s “Take These Sports from Snee and Eat Them.”

I’m not about to say that the entire sporting world is in trouble. But, certain teams and players could use a–ahem–boost:

That was the stands from last night’s Baltimore/Kansas City game at Camden Yard. Granted, it had rained all day and night, but even if you lived next door, would you bother to attend to watch the Orioles and the Royals? The title card alone sounds like it was pronounced by Foghorn Leghorn after a stroke.

They’re not alone. Detroit fans were already hesitant to spend money of Lions games, but now they’re abandoning the city and surrounding suburbs. How do you justify spending cash (we assume they still sell tickets) to a Kid Rock crowd?

You give them exactly why they watch Syfy and USA, and it’s not for Eureka or Psych; it’s for professional wrestling. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Can’t spell ‘sports entertainment’ without ‘sports’