You Missed It: Pyrotechnics edition

Your butt hole just puckered. Admit it.
Your butt hole just puckered. Admit it.

I’m sick of trying to be the best at everything. Like when people say, “Have a great day!” that puts a lot of pressure on me. The quality of my day is typically out of my hands, especially if it’s not the weekend. I just want to be good enough. It requires a lot less effort, and you don’t have to feel like a failure if you’re not great. Maybe don’t try for an awesome weekend, just try to relax at some point. You’ll do just fine. If you were busy defending your quackery on national television this week, odds are you missed it.

You shall be judged
This week, a volcano in Chile suddenly and violently erupted, prompting the evacuation of a nearby town. It’s the first time it’s erupted in 42 years. The volcano spewed so much ash into the air that it formed its own cloud nine miles high. Then the cloud had lightning. Yes, there was lightning in a volcanic eruption. Now may be a good time to get right with your chosen deity.

Avengers attacked
A week before their return, the Avengers are under assault. First, Robert Downey Jr. walked out of an interview because the reporter was going off topic and being rude. Iron Man’s not going to take that. Later, Chris Evans and Jeremy Renner bore the brunt of online rage when they called the Black Widow a “slut” and “whore” because of her flirtiness. Let’s be fair though, Captain America is from a different time, so he can’t be blamed. And when was the last time that anyone cared what Hawkeye said or did?

We all report cramps after ice cream
Blue Bell Creamery announced the recall of all of its products in 20 different states after several cases of listeria were reported related to its ice cream treats. Any food safety scare can be cause for concern, but when was the last time you had ice cream and then lost 10 lbs.?

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Iron Man 2’

For those with Netflix (and if you don’t have it, then shame on you, and shame on me for my completely unsolicited plug), Iron Man 2 will soon be available to watch streaming. This is something to keep in mind, as there are worst ways to kill time. But should you put at the top of your queue, or should you just meander around to it? Hit the jump button to find out. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Iron Man 2’

We’ve said it for years (on the inside)

And it's only been two weeks.For years, we’ve said over and over again that it’s not sex that screws up young people, it’s the relationships they get into to “make it right.”

Researchers at the University of Minnesota surveyed 1300 young adults between the ages of 18 and 24 “about their most recent sexual encounters, their self-esteem and their emotional well-being.” The overall status of people who listed their last experience as casual was no different than those in a committed relationship with their partner.

No different.

This makes perfect sense. Do you know how hard it is to convince the person your with that you’re not a total scumbag? For a casual hook-up, that masquerade only lasts for a night, which doesn’t count comatose hours. But, stretch that act out over time, and by the end of three months, you don’t know who you are anymore. All that method acting has left you more confused and self-loathing than Robert Downey, Jr. at the end of Tropic Thunder.

So, keep it casual. Your brain will thank you.