‘Are you lonesome, tonight? Are you smaller than a housecat?’

We all know that one guy. Y’know, the one that’s lonely, looks like he’s constantly moping, addicted to that godforsaken IRC channel and just can’t get the energy to even talk to someone of the gender that he’s attracted to. If he actually does manage to leave his bed, it’s never any fun, as he’s the truest form of the word “party-killer.”

Well mope no more, gentle soul that might become a serial killer! Japan, that ca-razy land of wackiness and schoolgirls is here to answer your prayers. The robot girlfriend that’s been joked about for years is now a reality! No more do you have to whine “why not me?” but instead, you get to say “oh yeah, ME,” with the simple push of a button, less than two Benjamins and some batteries.

There’s only one small catch. Sadly, it’s only useful for those in the 12- to 20-inch tall demographic. No, men that are quite literally 12 to 20 inches tall, as the robot is only 15 inches tall. Sorry Sploosh.