Teen pregnancy up because of (adult) stupidity

First off, this article wins our coveted Headline of the Day: “Teen birth rates up in 26 states.” If you thought Benjamin Button was bad, people are giving birth to nasty, surly teenagers!

But seriously (guys), let’s take a look at this very serious article about a very serious problem:

“The latest data on teen birth rates shows significant increases in 26 states, according to government data out today, which suggests that the rise in teens having babies is geographically broad-based and represents most regions of the USA.”

Wow, that’s really serious. The entire country is knocking up teens? All 26 states?

“The highest teen birth rates are in the South and Southwest; Mississippi is highest with 68.4 per 1,000, followed by New Mexico, with a rate of 64.1 and Texas, with 63.1. The lowest rates are in the Northeast. New Hampshire had the fewest teen births with 18.7 per 1,000. Vermont, with 20.8 per 1,000, and Massachusetts, with 21.3 per 1,000, were also low. Decreases were noted in New York, North Dakota, Rhode Island and the District of Columbia.”

Nope, just the South. Continue reading Teen pregnancy up because of (adult) stupidity

Schadenfreude: Feel better about your broken dreams

It’s Monday!  Yay!  What better way is there to follow-up a lazy weekend than to go to your dream job and embark on another week of meaningful employment?

What’s that?  You hate your job?  You didn’t want to be an analyst, but a rock star?  Well, things didn’t work out for you, unlike American Idol winners.  Don’t you hate how they don’t even need a band, much less a garage and lousy drummer, to become famous?

You know what will make it better?  Starting your week with a savory cup of Schadenfreude.

Her successor hasn’t even been named yet, but Jordin Sparks may never sing again, thanks to “an accute vocal chord hemmorage.”  Jordans around the world are rejoicing, as is the alcoholic/caffeinated beverage that unwittingly shares her last name.

Mm, Schadenfreude: it may be shameful, but it’s still joy.