Give the gift of a reusable rocket

We’re a week away from Valentine’s Day, and you probably haven’t gotten anything for your significant other, have you? Isn’t it time you got them something really special?

Maybe you should get that special someone a space rocket. You’re in luck, because there’s one on Craigslist going for just $9.9 million. The SpaceX Falcon 9 is listed in “good” condition, which just some minor burns and only light use. The down side is that shipping isn’t available, so you need your own tug boat. And then you’ll have to haul it all the way from Cape Canaveral, Florida. But that will make it mean that much more to your Valentine.

It’s a lot better than naming a star after them.

Take it from Snee: I’ll miss you, Huntsville

Well, this is officially my last Take it from Snee as a Huntsville, Alabama resident. On Friday, I return to Northern Virginia, from whence I came, with a new job.

I’ve ragged a lot on Huntsville my years here, from her lack of a decent rock radio station to her jarringly loud tornado sirens (the latter proving to be entirely necessary). And let’s not forget her attempts to make me fat or give me STDs with her drive-through sex toy shops. But, that doesn’t mean I haven’t loved her and the people here. Believe you me, once I’m back in NoVa, you’ll hear plenty about that region that just thinks it’s DC.

No, I do not come to bury Huntsville, but to give it to her one last time. Lovingly. Continue reading Take it from Snee: I’ll miss you, Huntsville

You Missed It: Publicity stunt edition

Is it just us, or did September pass by far too quickly? By the time You Missed It comes around next Friday, it will be October, which more or less makes it officially Dead Leaf Season, better known as fall. Sure it may already be fall, but September never really feels like fall. October, on the other hand, can be associated with nothing but autumn. If you were busy watching the leaves turn this week, odds are you missed it.

Debating at the debate? Well that’s debatable
This week, Sen. John McCain announced he was suspending his campaign so that he could hunker down and fix the economy with the rest of Congress. He also said the debate scheduled for tonight should be moved, but when Sen. Barack Obama disagreed, McCain threatened not to show up unless real progress was made on the issue. The result remains yet to be seen, however, as of last night, if you had Washington Mutual in your office bank death pool, you win!

If he was invisible, he’d sneak into your closet
In shocking celebrity news, former American Idol contestant/elf-looking thing Clay Aiken came out of the closet and revealed that he is in fact gay. This came as a shock virtually no one, but that did not stop the article from making the cover of Obvious Statements Magazine.

You invented fireworks and you’re just getting to space now?
On Thursday (or maybe it was Friday there, who knows?) The Chinese launched their third manned space mission into, well, space. The Long March rocket (named that because the Chinese see the commute to space is seen as a walk of a great distance) lifted the three Chinastronauts into space, where they will attempt the program’s first space walk, which will again, be a long march.

Here’s the damn rum, now go away
It was revealed earlier today that Disney has signed Johnny Depp for a fourth installment of Pirates of the Caribbean. The working title of the new movie is Pirates of the Caribbean: Plunderin’ Yer Wallet.

Iran catches up with 1957 USSR

SeriouslyLadies and Gentlemen, we have a tie for Picture of the Day and Headline of the Day, courtesy of crazy Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the confused British writers at The Guardian.

When asked about his 3D glasses, the little guy replied, “I’m glad you asked tha–Holy crap! My hand looks like it’s going to touch my face!

When his hand did, in fact, touch his face, he was startled, but quickly regained composure.

Image: “Old Tin Toy” by Louise Docker