Tag: rod Blagojevich

He has a hairdo for radio

Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is back! And by back, we mean on the radio! (No word on how many Nickelback songs he plays every hour on the hour.)

Blagojevich went to the airways in Chicago, flippin’ wax and playin’ tracks and criticizing the current governor for supporting a state income tax increase. The new governor, Pat Quinn, took over after Blagojevich got caught up in the home game version of Payolla.

While the show was reportedly a mixed success according to bored people who listen to disgraced politicos on the radio, Blagojevich is reportedly anxious to find sponsors:

“It’s a ####ing valuable thing — thing. You just don’t give it away for nothing,” Blagojevich said.

“I’ve got this thing, and it’s ####ing golden. And I’m just not giving it up for ####ing nothing. I’m not going to do it, and I can always use it; I can parachute me there.”

You Missed It: So long and thanks for all the kickbacks edition

We have arrived at the end of another week, and also the end of another month. It seems like only yesterday I was recovering from a hangover courtesy of cheap champagne. This weekend promises to be just as entertaining for all of America (or at the very least, the dudes) with the Super Bowl on Sunday. If you were busy contemplating not working on Tuesdays from now on, odds are you missed it.

Blagojevich, hair unhappy with obvious ouster
Never mind that he’s facing federal corruption charges, Illinois Gov. Rod “The Bod” Blagojevich was kicked out of office yesterday. Blagojevich became the former governor after making a heart-wrenching speech about how he has not been allowed to tell his side of the story and bring in witnesses who will defend him. State senators responded by unanimously voting him out and banning him from ever holding public office in the state again. Upon replacing Blagojevich, Gov. Pat Quinn pledged to clean up the office of the governor, and make sure the tape recorders were off when solicits or accepts bribes.

Being a Patriots fan, I have no recollection of there ever being a game
Police say they have recovered 27 Super Bowl rings that were made for the New York Giants last year. The rings were reported stolen from a Massachusetts jewelry store in June, the robbery netted an estimated $2 million. The rings have been sent to the Giants since being recovered, and a Boston area couple has been arrested in connection with the robbery. In other news, Bill Belichick could not be reached for comment.

And the dad is heading back to Iraq soon to get some peace and quiet
A mother of six gave birth to octuplets this week. Bringing her total count to 14 children. The mother has not been identified, but it is said she had feritility treatments and they did a little better than she had expected them to do. Here’s a question: if you already have four kids, why are you concerned about fertility?

The McBournie Minute: Oprah will never govern you

I had planned on writing something along the lines of how tired I am already of hearing about what President Barack Obama ate for breakfast and what color underwear Michelle Obama is wearing, but then I found this bit of news: Illinois Gov. Rod “The Bod” Blagojevich thought about appointing Oprah Winfrey to the U.S. Senate. Let me repeat that.

Blagojevich thought about appointing Oprah to the U.S. Senate–in real life.

For some unknown reason, Blagojevich is touring the television circuit like he’s not sure he and the squirrel living on top of his head will ever get to see another camera again. I can’t imagine why he or his friendly woodland creature would think a thing like that. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Oprah will never govern you

You Missed It: Do not adjust your television set edition

Hi folks. Welcome to 2009, and brand new year for news you will miss. As you may have noticed if you are reading this on Friday, You Missed It is now being published late Friday afternoons, as opposed to early Friday afternoons. If you hadn’t heard about that change until now, um, well, odds are you missed it.

Digital get-down
Did you know that television is changing over to a digital format next month? You probably did, and you are probably still really confused about it. Don’t worry, Congress and President-elect Barack Obama are trying to get the switch over date pushed back. Why? Because, among other things, the federal coupon program ran out of money a couple months ago. By the way, gang, you only need a digital converter if you get your television by bunny ear antenna–that’s it. If you have cable or satellite, you don’t need to worry. You’re welcome.

Charges of corruption and excessively-voweled last name
Today, the Illinois House of Representatives voted to impeach Gov. Rod “The Bod” Blagojevich. Some going to far as to say he had stolen the trust of the people. After the the 114-1 vote with three lawmakers not voting, the measure now heads to the state senate. Why was there one vote against impeachment and three non-votes? Blagojevich promised them all “something really f@$*ing nice. No f%&$ing kidding around.”

The Whopper Virgins will decide
Is the recession getting you down? Did you blow way too much on bar tabs and presents during the holidays? There is a meal in sight for you, for the low, low price of 10 friends. Yes, in this economy, even the value of a friendship can be worth less than something on the dollar menu. For what I assume is a limited time, Burger King will give you a Whopper if you de-friend 10 friends using their new app available on their website whoppersacrifice.com. Just to make things tougher, there’s no way delete the friends and not have it show up in the News Feed, so everyone will know you would rather 1/10 of a Whopper than their friendship. Ouch.

You Missed It: Pay to play edition

Yeah yeah, so You Missed It has been gone for a while, but you should know that your favorite Friday early-afternoon feature just can’t quit you. In fact, you could even say that You Missed It missed you. (So does that mean that you missed you as well? Forget it.)

Moving right along, we’re backfor this week and next, then we’ll see you in 2009. If you were busy telling humans that they are going to destroy the planet, odds are you missed it.

Corruption? In illinois? Go on!
Illinois Gov. Rod “The Rod” Blagojevich was arrested by the FBI this week in connection with corruption charges, the most notable of which was the alleged attempt to sell President-elect Barack Obama’s vacated seat in the U.S. Senate. Just a day prior to his arrest, Blagojevich told local media he was aware of people listening in on his phone calls, including the Chicago Tribune, and challenged them to listen away. It’s nice to see that 2008 has marked a return to scandals we can understand, you know, sex and corruption.

Buy American, that way we don’t have to just take your money from you
The Big Three auto makers (we call them auto makers because it’s the only time we use the word “auto” anymore) plead their cases to Congress, and the message was received–in the House, anyway. A measure to approve the bailout was pretty much derailed in the Senate on Friday, leading the White House to say it would consider funding the bailout. No one has had the heart to tell President George Bush he doesn’t control the money.

Stay tuned for The Late Show
It was announced this week that retiring Late Show host Jay Leno will be starting up a new show on NBC in the 10 p.m. slot. The show would likely be along the lines of his current show, which a topical talk show format. This move is being seen as bold, because it assumes anyone is still watching NBC at 10 p.m. on week nights. In other news Conan O’Brien will be on at 11 when the change is made, which is fine, but that means the nation is in danger of ending its days with Carson Daly.

Look out, Bill O!

Yes, Campbell Brown on Fox News rival CNN wants President-elect Barack Obama to reveal everything he hasn’t said about disgraced Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. (If you bet your friends that we copied and pasted that last name, collect your complimentary back rub.)

She took the president-elect to task on her new No Bias, No Bull show, which is obviously not a poor man’s respinning of the “No Spin Zone,” alleging that he did not say enough about not knowing that G-Rod was allegedly asking for bribes.

Brown also noted that investigating U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald said on record that Obama was not involved in the crime in any way.

So, if Obama’s innocent of all wrongdoing, then what is he hiding? Good question, Ms. Brown.

Don’t forget to wage your completely original War on Easter, read today’s “Speaking Points Memo” and hock your holiday goods at the online Brown Element store.