V-Day is coming, have you bought your drug-laden gift yet?

This Valentine’s Day, give her the gift she’ll really enjoy–the gift 20 lbs of cocaine.

Clearly, that is what someone had in mind in Amsterdam. Among a shipment of 20,000 roses from Colombia, airport authorities found something a little extra. It was shipped in the same cellophane packets that the roses had been shipped in.

We know they jack up the price on roses this time of year, but this could be an indicator as to why.

Were their fingers broken?

A bunch of people stood around in front of Edgar Allen Poe’s house Sunday night and were disappointed that the “Poe Toaster” did not show. The Toaster has annually left roses and a bottle of Cognac at the poet’s original grave site since 1949.

But, when the Toaster did not show, the spectators stood around complaining that they traveled, some even flying, for a no-show. Even the curator of the Poe House, Jeff Jerome, complained, saying there will be no roses or Cognac on display for the weekend following Poe’s birthday.

“I was very annoyed,” Jerome said.

Added one person from Chicago: “It’s really sad that the ritual was broken.”

And so, at the end of the night, no one made the effort to–oh, I don’t know–call a florist and run to the goddamn liquor store?!