MasterChugs Theater: Brett Ratner serves a purpose

I just got the bad news. Blood pressure’s up. Stress is on its way to end it all. Granted, it’s genetic and runs in the family, but still–why now? Is there anything that can be done to help the situation?

Oh my. Oh my, oh my, oh my. What am I to do?

Well, the doctor recommends a form of catharsis. Think of it as therapy, he says. Maybe you should excise some of that gratuitous stress that’s all built up within, is his advice.

OK. Sure, that can be done.

Dear Brett Ratner,

Just who do you think you are? Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: Brett Ratner serves a purpose

The McBournie Minute: We need more bailouts

For the past several weeks, Congress has been handing out money like candy on Halloween. (Technically, it’s been doing this since 1787, but let’s stick to today.) Banks, car manufacturers and the banks again have put on their best costumes and knocked on Congress’ door. Lawmakers have been only too happy to give what the executives want, mostly because they look so cute in their little outfits.

Since the Congressional lottery continues, I have come up with a few other things that are worth of billion-dollar bailouts. Should I ever be called to testify, I would be happy to make my case. Until then, this new device, this series of tubes will have to do. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: We need more bailouts