Scientists love looking at dead animals, the deader and older, the better. Some like it because they are morbid, godless homosexuals seeking to find their beloved Devil. Others like it because they get to learn things, like how animals were before we came along and killed them off.
One such fine example is in North Dakota, where an extremely rare fossil has been found: a mummified dinosaur. The mummy, which is oddly enough not wrapped in toilet paper, nor was it found in a temple, is a nearly complete example of a dinosaur and will give paleontologists (godless and warriors alike) the chance to see how these monstrous creatures really looked, with, you know, flesh on them.
However, this blog is still hesitant. The dinosaur is now as hard as rock or even metal. This cannot go well should the dino wake up.
In other news, have you ever wanted to have your very own mastodon? You can’t, of course. They are all dead thanks to a little genocide on the part of our ancestors. You can, however, own a mastodon skeleton if you go to the right garage sale. A
hippie San Fransisco resident is selling a mastodon skeleton she has just lying around in her garage. You know how easy it is to acquire junk.
The best news of all is that you don’t have to live in the area to buy it, you just need to have $115,000 and the ability to place a bid on eBay. Happy hunting!