The NFL’s Chargers of the city of A Whale’s Vagina have suffered very low attendance records. Given the team’s records over the past decade, that’s understandable: they’re the essentially the reverse New York Giants, being hot in the beginning of the season and then crashing harder Lilo driving on the 405 on a Friday night. As such, they suffer a possible fourth consecutive television blackout on Sunday.
But their loss might be your gain! The football team has paired up with coupon site Groupon to offer a deal to potential fans: cut rate tickets at cut rate prices. Will it work? We don’t know and frankly, we don’t care. The Guys are fans of teams on the eastern coast. You silly California teams matter not to us.
Bust out your Michael Vick jersey, a case of Miller Lite and prepare to gain 20 pounds, IT’S FOOTBALL SEASON! How will it all pan out? So glad you asked. My sports knowledge and ability to guestimate gives you predictions for every division, team and eventual playoff outcomes. Let’s ride.
The NFC East was supposed to be the new “it” divisions last year, shortly before it lived up to expectations in 2008 the way Angelina Jolie tanked in Changeling. Now in 2009 the East is down to one good team, two teams that got rid of egomaniacal receivers, and the Redskins. Don’t be surprised when this team yields only one playoff bid this year.
The Call: Philadelphia Eagles 12-4
The Rest: New York Giants 9-7, Dallas Cowboys 8-8, Washington Redskins 5-11
Another pretender division that choked like a British nanny as the weather got colder. Yes, I predicted the Saints to go to the Super Bowl last year, but injuries and NO DEFENSE prevented that. This year you have an aging Carolina squad, New Orleans’ offense, a terrible Tampa team and an Atlanta franchise that will probably get a second year hangover from Matt Ryan, I mean he is still only a year out of college, hangovers happen my friend. The bottom line is you could make an argument for any of these teams, simply because the division is so bad. So pick the least heinous person to make out with at this party, because this one isn’t pretty.
The call: Atlanta Falcons 10-6,
The rest: New Orleans Saints 8-8, Carolina Panthers 7-9, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 6-10 Continue reading Eat My Sports: NFL predictions edition
I really want to write about the Red Sox this week. That old familiar feeling has come creeping around again, and my boys did it in overly dramatic fashion by finishing off the 100-win Angels with a head-first dive into home plate by Jason Bay. However, I don’t want to tempt fate by calling any of the series this week, so we’ll save it for an Eat My Sports: World Series Edition when the time comes, regardless of if it ends up with a worst case scenario for Fox execs by having a Tampa Bay vs. Philadelphia Phillies Fall Classic. For the time being though, Jed Lowrie, you rock, and Bay, just keep on rolling baby. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Sex and the NFL
The end of the baseball regular season is here, and all most of us can think is, “Finally!” I love baseball season, but this year’s gauntlet dragged me from late March to late September, so this year felt particularly long. It felt much longer because the Red Sox never really hit a stretch where they played exceptionally well for an extended period of time, they were just consistent. Next thing I know, I look at the standings and we were a 95-win Wild Card team. To put that in perspective, 95 wins equals winning your division, all your playoff games and going undefeated the following Spring Training for the NL West. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Some serious predictions