Italy’s tired of your s%@t

Italy is at war, a war against indecency.

Mayors are using new powers granted by the Prime Minister to combat the social ills plaguing their towns. No more will peaceful townsfolk have to endure the brazen delinquency of … miniskirts?

Mayor Luigi Bobbio of Castellammare di Stabia has invoked his anti-anti-social rites to outlaw revealing clothing, sunbathing, playing football (not what you think) in public places and–in case you were planning to curse after receiving your fine–blasphemy.

Other Italian towns have cracked down on the very practices that once destroyed their empire, including “sandcastles, kissing in cars, feeding stray cats, wooden clogs and the use of lawn mowers at weekends.”

New moral order, folks. Take your debauchery very quietly elsewhere.