Schadenfreude: The taste you know

In an uncertain world, we rely on the few certain things in our lives or–more importantly–the lives of others to make everything make sense. It’s what wakes us up in the morning, ready to face whatever uncertainties the world will throw at us.

There, that should be enough Schadenfreude to get you to five o’clock. It’s the taste you know you love, especially after pouring it in Jesse James’ rehabed lap.

Mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.

You Missed It: Shots fired edition

Today’s Good Friday, and I am not at work. Why is that, you ask? Because Jesus died for my long weekend. For some reason the markets are closed today, and some lucky businesses are, too. I happen to work for one of them. So, if you’re reading this at work. Don’t worry, I’m out enjoying the sunny weather. If you were busy watching water seep into your house, odds are you missed it.

Remember where you were when you first saw the video
Erykah Badu made news this week when she released a video for a song you’ve never heard of. Without permits, crew or apparent common sense, Badu and a cameraman walked through Dealey Plaza in Dallas, where JFK was shot, as she stripped (during the video, not the assassination) in front of families and oncoming traffic. Theories abound as to the message or meaning of the video. Some fans claim there was a second camera shooting from the grassy knoll.

iHype is back after a short break
The Apple hype machine was switched on again this week, but the fanboy monster was two-headed this week. First, the iPad, Apple’s high tech take on the cafeteria lunch tray, is nearing its release date, and there aren’t enough to go around. Secondly, rumors circulated that a new iPhone could be released this year that would work on non-AT&T networks, like Verizon. With this site having a white background, all we need is some happy music and snarky tagline at the end and we’ve got an Apple commercial.

Who even knew they were married?
We found out that Sandra Bullock definitely wants a divorce from noted motorcycle person and tattoo enthusiast Jesse James because of alleged affairs with several women. We’re not talking Tiger’s numbers, but it’s up there. Also, he might like Hitler. With all of these Hollywood people sleeping around with random skanks in the same area, you have to wonder if there’s an overlap on clientele.

Who says Hollywood’s dishonest?

You may have noticed that there were Academy Awards this weekend. Hopefully you weren’t too disappointed by the results.

(Sorry, Clooney fans. He can’t win for the same role every year.)

(Oh, and to people who just discovered science fiction through Avatar and can’t believe it only won special effects awards: get used to it.)

But, now that we’re in the aftermath, we can reflect on Hollywood’s choices.  And when Sandra Bullock says she “didn’t aspire” to win the Oscar for Best Actress–or ever win an Oscar at all–we mean it from the bottom of our hearts when we say, “Yeah, we could tell.”

Take it from Snee: The Trial of the 21st Century

I know, not fair using the cable-knit "What are you thinking?" picture.

A number of factors made the O.J. Simpson trial the Trial of the 20th Century. It involved celebrities, like a young, up-and-coming Kato Kaelin. The charges concerned murder most foul. Its protagonists made strong stand-ins for Los Angeles’ and America’s long-simmering racial unrest, particularly after the Rodney King incidents.

But, ultimately, it was about timing. Not only had the nation forgotten about past contenders like the Scopes Monkey Trial, Roe v. Wade and even the recent Lorena Bobbitt and Rodney King trials, but this was 1995. What trial was going to pop-up before 2000 (technically, 2001) and be more compelling than Nordberg knifing of his ex-wife and some waiter?

It is based on these criteria that I’ve evaluated this young century’s court cases, looking for the first Trial of the 21st Century. And, finally, after nine long years of watching nothing but Court TV, I can report that that trial … is upon us: the Sandra Bullock custody battle.

How does it measure up to last century’s winner? Let’s go to the board: Continue reading Take it from Snee: The Trial of the 21st Century

The McBournie Minute: Pop should represent the populus

There was a time when I considered myself up on all the latest happenings in pop culture. I knew all the big players, all the latest news and gossip, and I knew it all because I could read the celebrity magazine headlines while my mom and I waited to put our groceries on the belt and check out. I was probably seven.

Since then, I can safely say I have focused more on what, rather than who, is cool. I pay attention to certain types of music and certain genres of movies. I watch certain types of shows with certain ads aimed at my demographic. Slowly over the years, it seems I have drifted farther and farther out of contact with what is “fresh,” as the kids say these days. I think.

I realized just recently that basically all of what we define as pop culture is really just what the females of the species find interesting. Let’s run down a few of the latest headlines, shall we? Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Pop should represent the populus