Internet activity stops after Emma Watson announcement

With the elections finally over — unless Georgia has any more overdue offices to fill — coupled with zero interest in foreign news, the Internet has officially frozen on news that Emma Watson, Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter movies, might do some nude scenes in future projects.

Since this announcement reached all blogs, online magazines and message boards this morning, all production of snarky t-shirts, LOLcats and satirical fake news posts have ceased, presumably as the entire Internet population has paused to masturbate.

Regular Internet users are distraught, users like Amanda Daniels, who had to do actual work today since the entire Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan forum went dead.

“Will nobody respond to my post about how Willow should make a crossover appearance in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles?” Daniels said. “I mean, Hermione’s hot, but Alyson Hannigan and Summer Glau in my proposed shower scene? Shiney!”

Only one Web site has maintained any traffic in the past hour: the Google image search. However, experts believe the Internet will get up and moving again once their stimulus package takes effect: planting the seeds of an “Is Megan Fox Hot?” debate on Fark.