Tag: saudi arabia

Better make sure you plan your vacations in the right cycle

Am I right, guys? Women, huh? You can’t live with them and if you do, you’ll wish you hadn’t. Fellas, am I right?

Saudi Arabia has decided to make a city that is women only. What a thing, right? I mean, first they get their own special holidays, they always get their way in the court room and in a 2 bathroom house, they always get three bathrooms. Am I right, guys? Well watch out if you’re near the Eastern Province city of Hofuf when the city has been completed.

Because women drivers and car jokes!OHGODKILLMENOW

So that’s where Bobby Collins went

If you’ve wondered what happened to the stand-up comedians of the ’70s, ’80s and ’90s (or the Mom Rock of comedy), we’ve found them. Turns out they were in Saudi Arabia this whole time, making sure the government knows that women are terrible drivers. And, much the same way they courageously confronted and ended the practice of airline food, it’s working … for now.

Oh, the emails we’re going to get

Don’t get us wrong: American racists are some of the finest racists in the world. Sure, Mel Gibson carries most of the team like Michael Vick in the Iditarod, but a ring is a ring, right? So, know that we’re not dissing our ignorant, homegrown bigots.

That said: When it comes to racism, there are racists, and then there are paranoid, delusional racists.

It takes a special level of irrational hatred to believe that the Hebrews next door are attacking your homeland with birds and fish. Not only is it absurd to think that anyone has that kind of Beastmaster control over animals, but that condor doesn’t even look Jewish.

Pervert gets 1,000 lashes … from Saudi government

Oh, it must be hard to be a father-figure government based on religious law, especially when that pesky human nature gets in the way. But, it must be even worse when your punishments are kind of kinky as well.

Saudi Arabia has sentenced Mazen Abdul Jawad to 5 years’ imprisonment and 1,000 lashes for “bragging” in a Lebanese documentary about enjoying sex, toys and women he’s not married to.

It’s a good thing that the Saudi government doesn’t stand for these kind of stories. The last thing they’d want the world to think is that their men are normal, not sexless, humorless religious fanatics.

You Missed It: CANNES!!! edition

Sen. Hillary Clinton handily defeated Sen. Barack Obama in the West Virginia primary earlier this week. Pushing the primaries on, and on, and on, and on. So if you were like John Edwards and endorsing Obama, odds are you missed it.

Black, stork to the stars
Jack Black made unintended headlines this week at the Cannes Film Festival this week when he spilled the beans that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, better known as “Angelad,” are expecting twins. There is no word yet as to which baby will be the perfect of the two and a mortal god-off is scheduled with the unborn fruit of Tom Brady and Bridget Moynahan. Meanwhile, no one is paying attention to Kung Fu Panda.

Earthquakes rock China
A Richter 7.9 earthquake hit central China earlier this week, and strong aftershocks have been hitting the region off and on since then. The quakes have caused thousands of deaths and left thousands more homeless. A dam was critically damaged by the tremblor but has been fixed by the military. Who else is looking forward to the Beijing Olympics this summer?

President heads to the Middle East
Fresh off his daughter’s weekend wedding, President George Bush headed to Israel this week to celebrate the country’s 60th anniversary and the peace that has fallen over the region since then. Bush then stopped off in Saudi Arabia to talk oil production with the Saudi royals. When Bush told King Abdullah he had just come from Israel, the monarch replied, “I’m sorry, where? I don’t recognize the name.”

Same sex marriage in California
On Thursday, the California Supreme Court struck down a state ban on same sex marriage, saying it was unconstitutional to keep people from marrying based on gender, just as it is with race. Same sex marriage supporters gathered outside the courthouse to hear the news and called the ruling “fabulous.”

Get a haircut, lovebirds!

Saudi Arabia is known as the, well, Saudi Arabia of the Middle East. Sometimes it’s friendly to westerners, sometimes they have public beheadings, so really, it’s a coin toss as to how we view the country.

That’s why we’re glad to hear the country is making its version of hippies get a haircut. And by “hippies” we mean men who flirt with women in public places. This blog isn’t sure what that means, but if that means public display of affection (PDA), then we are all for it. It’s time to cut back on people making out in public worldwide by threatening to cut their hair.

It is annoying to see, disgusting to watch and a problem plaguing our nation’s long-haired youth of both genders. Say, we could enforce it on the womens, too!