Tag: scooter

Not exactly a high-speed vehicle

You may not know it, but Uniontown, Pennsylvania has a police force that works hard to solve crimes that local evil masterminds, they did not let the town down recently.

Police say Craig David Jr. was having a rough week. He had just gotten out of the hospital for a domestic dispute, where he had been struck with a frying pan and a table leg. He met an ex-girlfriend at Wal-Mart, still in his hospital gown. The ex agreed to pay for his prescription, but allegedly snatched $50 and then made his getaway on a store scooter. He didn’t get very far on one of those babies.

What rhymes with ‘luck?’

Animals hate everything we stand for–it’s no secret. But it is becoming clearer lately that not only are they so hateful of us that they are willing to engage in the more traditional, aggressive attacks, but also passive-aggressive ones. Pets are a method of draining the average human of their monetary resources. Now, it seems they are willing to try the same tactics on our government.

A pet duck in Rhode Island was born with a neurological disorder that keeps it from walking. In any other country, that would make the pet duck a pet lunch, but here in America, the quacker is taking Uncle Sam for a ride, getting a scooter to help assist in its walking. This blog can only assume it was paid for by Medicare.

Let’s keep in mind that this duck does not hold a job, nor does it pay taxes. In fact, this blog is willing to bet the duck comes from generations of tax- (and axe-) dodging ducks. Yet our tax dollars are paying to keep this duck alive and comfortable.