Flying really stings

We spend millions on airport security, and things still happen. It’s no secret that there are gaps in our security, and the animals know this.

That’s probably why they snuck a scorpion on to a flight in Los Angeles. Alaska Airlines flight 567 originated in Mexico, and was about to take off at LAX bound for Oregon, when a scorpion stung a passenger. The incident cause the flight to head back to the gate so that the woman could get medical treatment.

She lived, but untold numbers of people’s days were messed up as a result. You win this time, scorpion.

Zoo selling out Valentine’s Day in order to get paid, son

What’s a good way to screw up Valentine’s Day? Give no gift? How about giving the wrong gift?

If you answered yes to the latter, then you too will share the theory that the San Francisco Zoo does not want you to get laid.

For a nominal (and varying) donation amount, a person can adopt a scorpion or a hissing cockroach for their loved one for Valentine’s Day. Said person will then get a certificate of adoption and either a stuffed arachnid or plastic insects to show that whoever bought them this gift is a lousy person. The Zoo is even marketing the packages as gifts that can be given to ex-lovers.

You know what costs less than a donation amount? Death to the hissing cockroaches and death to the scorpions. It costs a lot less.