Tag: sea world

Yes to wetsuit, no to Batsuit nipples

We’ve grown accustomed to losing luxuries after a terrorist attack. Spider-Man doesn’t get to spin a web between the World Trade Center towers. The airport smells a bit more “Croc-y,” especially around the security area.

But, how many freedoms are we willing to surrender? Surely some loss will inspire the American people to stand up and say, “Not on my watch, motherf@%ker.”

Will that loss be wetsuit nipples from SeaWorld babes diving into the water with killer whales and then getting out of the pool?

Hasn’t Tilikum killed enough? Must he also drag dad erections down to the bottom of a metaphorical underwater tank by their less metaphorical pubic hair? We cannot allow the whales to win.

You win some, you lose some

We have finally figured out how to eliminate those annoying dolphins as a species (aside from humiliating them to death for tourist shows). SeaWorld, the world’s largest chain for aquatic gulags, has managed to kill a dolphin as part of its show.

Sharky the dolphin was performing some sort of aerial stunt when it hit another dolphin in a mid-air collision. Now THAT’s entertainment! In the War on Animals, it is always great to see people showing initiative and eliminating the great dolphin threat.

Sadly, we lost one of our boys on the West Coast recently. An animal trainer in California paid the ultimate price in this crazy, mixed-up war, when a “friendly” grizzly bear he was wrestling with bit him on the neck. We proudly salute our fallen comrade. May he go where the bears and their hunts for picanic baskets cannot reach him.

Finally, many of our readers have been clamoring for mention of the shark attack in San Diego last week. There, we said it.