Tag: sega genesis

Invisible light beams are the deadliest beams of all

A man, looking to collect on a debt, broke into the house of 60-year-old woman in Brazil’s Federal District, holding her hostage for ten hours on the business end of a Sega Light Phaser.

Let’s repeat that: a man, looking to collect on a debt, broke into the house of 60-year-old woman in Brazil’s Federal District, holding her hostage for ten hours on the business end of a Sega Light Phaser.

Not the Sega Genesis Menacer, which — when fully combined — looks vaguely like a Nerf gun meets bazooka, but the Sega Master System’s Light Phaser. A 22 year old plastic gun that looked like a weapon out of Laser Challenge. You want to know what the business end of a Light Phaser is? Air.

Luckily, the man let his hostage go, unharmed, after negotiating with police (and displaying a pair of deadly but totally lame for carving a chicken knives). Of course, this was only after he beat the high score.

FYI, you might have to use Google Translator to read the page.

Video games will kill you

Iowa State University would have you believe that video games aren’t safe.

Iowa State University would like to it known that video games are causing aggressive behavior in children regardless of their cultural surroundings, which is totally not a case of kids being kids.

Iowa State University would like you to think that a new study from their merry halls shows several parallels to a recent Japanese study.

Iowa State University isn’t telling you the whole truth.

Video games will kill you. Video games are nothing but a tool of Al Qaeda. You want proof?

One detainee is said to have been schooled in making detonators out of Sega game cartridges.

That’s some old school destruction, and I’m not talking about the kind found in Gunstar Heroes. Whoever gets the job tonight won’t have to deal with just the fallout of the War in Iraq, Guantanamo Bay and the crash of Wall Street, but also the destructive capabilities of old copies of Mutant League Football.

Fighting the growing threats of animals, teenagers

If there’s one thing the Sega Genesis taught a generation, it’s that hedgehogs are speedy, blue creatures that wear only shoes and gloves–they are not toys. But what we often forget is that they are still animals, and because they are animals, they want to kill us.

Hedgehogs have spiny backs that protect them from Dr. Robotnik’s evil robots sent to destroy them. They also have powers of mind control, as a man in New Zealand found out recently. For some reason, he picked up a hedgehog, which was curled up because it was revving up to get enough speed to make it around the loop, and threw it at a teenager.

The man was charged with assault with a weapon. The teen, whose leg was injured in the attack, is fine, but the happiest news is that the hedgehog is dead.

Side note: It is with great sadness that The Guys report the death of Bryan Schools, who passed away from blog-related illness. We will miss you, Bryan. Have a drink with Jesus for us.