Tagged: seniors

| Filed under It Must Be Science!, Sex Sells

Seniors active in the bedroom also active mentally, science says

It turns out that having sex when you’re older can help you fight off dementia, according to a recent study. (We know thinking about old people and sex isn’t a great way to hook you, but this information could come in handy years from now, so read on.)

According to researchers Coventry University in the U.K., people surveyed 50 and 89 who had sex regularly tended to have better cognitive function. In all, more than 6,800 people were surveyed on their sex lives, and given simple memory tests. Both men and women who were sexually active did better on the tests. It’s the strongest evidence yet that you should buy your grandfather the hooker he’s been asking for.

“Science says you have to bang me if you want me to remember you in the morning,” is now an acceptable and true line for you to use when you’re over 50. And there’s nothing wrong with preventative measures if you’re younger.

| Filed under Regular Post

It’s a trap, older ladies!

The Transportation Security Administration has announced that it will ease up screening procedures on seniors aged 75 and above. Much in the same way they’ve done for kids 12 and under, TSA will no longer force the elderly to remove their shoes or outerwear at security checkpoints, and they will now be able to opt out of pat-downs provided they submit to a second no-touch screening.

But, just when TSA thinks they’ve found a way to improve their perception problem, they introduce a whole new one: passenger ages will be determined by a screener’s visual assessment. Unless … maybe it’s a trap to compliment grandmas, like carding older ladies for booze?

| Filed under Regular Post

Staying active in the twilight years

Getting in a car accident can be a bummer (just ask my roommate). Getting into a car accident on your 72nd birthday can be even worse. That’s what happened to Rodell Alton Cole of Maryland recently, but that wasn’t the worst of his day.

Cole got into a minor fender bender with another motorist, so the police had to get involved. They found the senior citizen was driving on a suspended license and asked him to empty out his car. During this process, Cole removed a rather heavy bag police found to allegedly contain 156.2 pounds of marijuana, a street value of $1.4 million.

Police said they think Cole was on a drug run from New York City, but failed to comment on whether or not he had driven the whole way down going 45 mph on the highway with his blinker on.