Tag: seriouslyguys

Black market booties and you

In what may become the most epically legendary news story lead this week, the BBC reports that “a national dance craze in Ivory Coast has spawned a black market in treatments claiming to increase one’s bottom size.” And once that fad passes, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are at least a few movie producers who might be interested in seeing whether all those creams and injections had any lasting effects ….

Das consumare vootch

A note to recently widowed German women-if you’re receiving billing and correspondence for “mail-order pornography that was secretly purchased by your formerly alive husbands“, here’s a heads up. They’re bad people. They’re scammers. Do not have them over for summer sausage, streudel and cookies. Your beloved almost certainly did buy porn, there’s no doubt in the world about that, but The Guys are pretty sure you don’t have pay for it once they’re gone.

Most adorable traffic accident EVAR

I realize that it’s four days already, but, best headline ever or best headline ever?

To help seal the deal:

“The corridor was really busy, and people just kept walking, and they started to pile up. We were helping the people who had been injured, and at one point it was like the scene in The Wizard of Oz when the witch is trapped underneath the house.”

Update to ‘Pip pip, cheerio and all that ultra conservative behavior’

In more “we won!” news, It looks like London is changing their mind on that “no naked goddess in the subway” rule and will now allow the “overtly sexual” Venus painting to be displayed on tube advertisements. How gracious of them. You know what’s funny, though? Using the word “tube” when talking about 16-century paintings of naked goddesses.

(Once again, both links might be Not Safe For Work, but it all depends on your employers … or your host country. England, I’m looking at you.)

MasterChugs Theater Love Tap: ‘Love & Basketball’

OK, so it’s day five. If you’re still paying attention to this column, then there’s a real good chance that you might have screwed up. Maybe you forgot to do something last night. Maybe you showed your significant other one of the “don’ts” from earlier this week. Whatever the case is, today’s the day to make things better. It’s crunch time, fourth quarter, triple overtime, especially on this week. SeriouslyGuys has got the fix for you. We call it Love & Basketball. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater Love Tap: ‘Love & Basketball’

MasterChugs Theater Love Tap: ‘Love and Bullets’

Today’s target, Love and Bullets, comes courtesy to us by Liz. One can be assured that she recommends it in jest, because, that’s what this movie is-a jest. WITH BULLETS. Don’t believe me? C’mon on in and see for yourself. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater Love Tap: ‘Love and Bullets’

I’ll see your frivolous spending and raise you one ghost

Many are the complaints about United States government’s spending on things that are felt to be otherwise unnecessary. Without getting too political, these range from battles that are felt to be both unneeded and unwanted to government agencies that hire people not to do actual work per sé, but to literally watch over the janitors.

But fret not, loyal arrogant USA’ers, as we’re no longer the only country to have incredibly silly and gratuitous items clog up our federal budget, as now London joins our ranks. Why so? Because unlike The Guys, they seem to be plenty scared of ghosts, and have hired a psychic to tell a ghost that’s haunting their building to hit the bricks. Despite, y’know, London having both wind and open windows, thus possibly explaining why stuff moves around.

I’m just saying, is all.

MasterChugs Theater Love Tap: ‘Love at First Bite’

Welcome to a special MasterChugs Theater. All you seriously in a relationship guys may know that Valentine’s Day is this week. If you didn’t, don’t worry, you’ve still got three days until you’re in trouble … unless you’re reading this on Thursday, then it’s Ruh-Roh, Raggy. For everyone else though, say salutations to “Love in the Theater”, a guide to the do’s and don’ts of the film world for this romantic week. Pay attention and you’ll hopefully get a do and not a don’t on Thursday evening. Our first victim: Love at First Bite. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater Love Tap: ‘Love at First Bite’