Brits keep flushing underwear, clogging sewers

Citizens of one town in the U.K. are being politely asked not to flush their underwear down the toilet, or “loo,” after a large pair of granny panties caused a clog in the sewer system.

Here in the U.S., we discard our underwear in the trash, but the Europeans do everything weirder than us. According to authorities, the sewer system in Cheltenham, U.K., suffered from a massive clog, thanks to one woman’s flushed undies. This isn’t an isolated incident. Flushed “knickers” 50,000 blockages in the area’s sewer systems every year.

We understand that with any sizable human population, there are going to be a few cases of soiled undies every year, but tens of thousands? Do the Brits not believe in throwing the evidence in the rubbish bin? Are U.K. toilets just more powerful than their American counterparts?

It’s sort of like an Easter egg hunt, but gross

If you see a glowing tampon floating in a stream, don’t just be grossed out, run. There’s a good chance you’re in danger.

Researchers have found that they can use common coloring chemicals to dye tampons, and then send them to find leaks in sewage pipes. You just send them down into the sewer, and then scour nearby lakes, rivers and streams to find them again. It will give you an idea of where the leak is and where pollution is seeping into lakes.

Why tampons? They float, and they don’t have dyes like other cotton does, so they can easily absorb something bright to make them easier to find.

The down side, of course, is that in this case, they only find the leaks. They don’t plug them up.

London sewers may not be able to handle the holiday traffic

When it comes to the holidays, Americans aren’t the only ones who gorge themselves. In fact, our former mother country tops us in it, so much so that they clog not just toilets, but sewers.

Every Christmas, or whatever they call it over there, the London sewer system gets even more clogged than usual with what can only be described as “fatbergs.” Everything remotely solid that Londoners flush or send down the drains daily, from fat left over from cooking, to wipes, to solid waste, congeals and causes sewers to slow down, even threatening them from over flowing. And it gets worse around the holidays.

Now try watching Love Actually.

Teenager Power!

No pizzas can save you now! NONE!

Not one adolescent male hated the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the 80s. They were easily part of the five figure groups for boys toys. I’ll easily admit that even I dressed up as one for Halloween. Turtles were awesome.

However, playing TMNT back then was acceptable. Playing TMNT now just gets you lost in sewers. Especially if you’re 17. And living in Queens. I mean, if you reside there, then Spider-Man should be your hero, not the turtles. Everyone knows that they resided under Brooklyn.

Probably the coup-de-gras of the situation was posted by one of the police officers:

“These three idiots were playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and wanted to go into the sewers,” said one police source. “They were never in danger, just goofing off and being stupid.”

You know you’ve messed up bad when a police officer is belittling you in a public forum.