Welcome to one of the best headlines in a long time. According the news wire, 24 year-old Briton Amanda Flowers has become a “sex addict” after falling off her Wii Fit board.
That’s just rich.
It seems that, courtesy of the fall, she’s developed persistent sexual arousal syndrome. Now any time Amanda is around anything vibrating or pulsing, like a mobile phone or blender, she becomes aroused. Like I said, her engine is going.
“It began as a twinge down below before surging through my body”, she says of the onset of an attack.
Provided this is actually and truly a real story, this isn’t one hundred percent great for Amanda. On the one hand, she went from playing Wii Fit to developing a serious condition. On the other, most people that fall off things get hurt, not a bunch of unprovoked orgasms.
In an uncertain world, we rely on the few certain things in our lives or–more importantly–the lives of others to make everything make sense. It’s what wakes us up in the morning, ready to face whatever uncertainties the world will throw at us.
There, that should be enough Schadenfreude to get you to five o’clock. It’s the taste you know you love, especially after pouring it in Jesse James’ rehabed lap.
Mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.
The world is skeptical of sex addiction, or hypersexual disorder, in the wake of recent sex scandals–most notably that of Tiger Woods.
Sure, we live in a world where our greatest information-sharing and connectivity tool is used predominantly for pornography. We even have terms for postponing work or other activities to indulge ourselves, like “procrasturbating.”
But, calling the urge to continue the species (if we forget to take precautions) a disease like restless leg syndrome or erectile dysfunction, well … that’s just taking things a little too far, right? (Which is what your mom did not say last night.)
It may not be a disease, yet, but psychiatrists are considering the addition of hypersexual disorder to their next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. (The link includes a checklist for your hypochondriac amusement.)
All we’re saying is that, should this happen, employers better expect more sick days taken.