Seafood makes you more likely to get it on, study says

More people live on the East and West Coasts than in the rest of the U.S. Is it beaches? The infrastructure? The overall higher standard of life? Science may have the answer.

According to a recent study of 500 couples trying to have a baby, lovers who eat more seafood have more active sex lives and are also more likely to conceive. Couples who ate seafood were 39% more likely to get it on that very same day. Further, 92% of the couples that ate seafood more than twice a week conceived by the end of the study.

So there may be more people on the coasts simply because we have better access to seafood, and bang more.

Survey: Awful people check their phones while doing it

A new survey of 1,000 people has found that 10% of people check their phones during sex. That probably means they need to clean their phones, too.

The survey, conducted by cell signal booster company SureCall, found that 10% of respondents admitted to checking their phones while getting it on. And nearly half of those people said they had checked their phone while banging two to 10 times in the past year. If you are dating one of these people, consider this your red flag.

Also, people 18 to 34 were twice as likely to check their phones than people aged 35 to 51. But that’s probably just because the older folks don’t know how to unlock their phone in the first place.

Study: Millennials are killing sex, too

At least once a day you see an article written by some old person blaming Millennials for ruining society, as if they are making conscious decisions to murder book stores or malls and they alone are able to kill off these things. Looks like we’re probably not going to be having sex anymore, either, because Millennials are killing that, too. Thanks a lot, whatever generation is old enough to work but not yet have power.

According to a study of 16,000 people born in 1989 and 1990, who have been tracked since the age of 14, one in eight 26-year-olds is still a virgin. Researchers say it’s a response to the hypersexualized society they have grown up in, and the fear of their performance being ridiculed on social media.

But the real reason is that Millennials hate everything that is good, like record shops, smoking and napkins. This is what happens when you hand out participation trophies.

Study: The Brits would rather watch TV than shag

We live in a world where there is endless entertainment right at your fingertips. Unfortunately, it comes at the cost of our sex lives.

According to a new study in the U.K., people are increasingly using video streaming services between 10 and 11 p.m. That may not sound like anything special, but typically that’s around the time most couples are going to bed and getting it on. The study suggests that rather than sexing each other, people are streaming videos in bed.

On the other hand, good job for having such good programming, British media.

Study: Your lady thinks it’s hot when you do the dishes

There’s nothing sexier to a woman than doing chores together, according to a new study.

If you want to have a healthy relationship, you need to divide the chores evenly, a survey of U.S. couples found. Women who felt they did most of the work around the house were less likely to be satisfied in their relationship, as well as in the bedroom. Men didn’t really seem to associate the amount of chores with any other aspect of their relationship.

The study really highlights how hundreds of women can coordinate responses to a survey in a bid to change their man’s behavior. Sneaky stuff.

App plays music to keep you on rhythm during sex

It’s happened to everyone: you’re putting on some music to set the mood, only to find out that your selection just doesn’t have the beat you’re going for. Bed Beats is here to make this slight inconvenience a thing of the past.

Bed Beats is an app that’s been around for a year or so, but is only getting press now. It plays a the genre of music that you want, at the tempo you want for getting it on. No more getting offbeat (or the other way around) in bed, which someone out there must think is an issue. But if you think Bed Beats is some clever app that selects songs you’ve heard of based on their tempos, you’re wrong. It just has a selection of beats from different genres of music, and you can make it play faster or slower.

This is also helpful if you like to rap while doing it.

Chores are a waste of time

... right after you finish the laundry and dishes, vacuuming and mopping the floor, picking up the groceries ...
… right after you finish the laundry and dishes, vacuuming and mopping the floor, dusting, changing the bed linens, picking up the groceries …

For men who thought that sharing housework duties would make your relationship more fulfilling, that’s true … for your wife. A new study, however, found that it could mean less sex for you.

Couples in more egalitarian relationships where men performed “traditionally female chores — such as cooking, cleaning and shopping” reported having less sex than those couples in which the men performed “traditionally masculine tasks — such as yard work, paying bills and auto maintenance.” Men in the survey reported having sex an average 5.2 times a month, while women reported 5.6.

… Wait a minute. 5.2 versus 5.6?

And now we know: cooking, cleaning and shopping cut into valuable affair-having time — time that women now enjoy.

Ladies and their disgusting sexual loopholes

Gentlemen, if you’ve ever worried about s%#tting the bed that you share with a lady — maybe after a certain chilli peppers bet at the Wings Warehouse? — we have one suggestion: do it during sex.

A recent study published in PLoS One found that sexually aroused women were less disgusted while performing gross tasks than women who went in dry. The tasks included ones of a sexual nature (reaching into a bowl of used condoms) and of a non-sexual nature (handling a piece of feces smeared toilet paper). Don’t worry, though: none of the gross things were real. The condoms were merely opened, not used for sex, and the feces was chocolate filtered through a precocious labrador retriever puppy.

Afterwards, the women were asked to rate their disgust from 0 to 100. Sexually aroused women were considerably less disgusted than their dry peers performing sexually gross tasks, but only minorly less disgusted performing non-sexually gross ones. So, returning to the bed soiling example in the opening paragraph: fellas, you gotta make it a passionate dump. Women may think sex is gross, but they’re OK with gross if the mood is right.

This experiment also explains why men perform some of the most disgusting jobs in the world (i.e., garbage collection, flavored condom testing, gynecology, etc.): we’re always sexually aroused. Always.

The high cost of sex

Fornication is not free. When two people fornicate, the price will be high as there is always a cost. The better, the higher the price. The worse, the even higher the price. The freer, the highest of prices.

And, the louder, the higher. To the tune of roughly 4 grand in Australian funny money. Also, the male partner in the pairing will probably throw you under the bus at a moment’s notice.

“It is mostly Jessie,” [Colin MacKenzie] said.

“Hey baby, don’t be mad, it’s a … uh … compliment. Yeah, that’s it. A compliment!”

When life gives men lemons, those men f%&k them

People respond to stress in different ways. Some shut down, and others claim they can only produce under pressure. It turns out that men are more interested in reproducing under stress.

British researchers recently learned that men who are tasked with stressful tasks, like public speaking, become attracted to a wider range of women’s body mass indexes, including women who are larger than what they normally go for. This might come from picturing the audience naked.

Dieting women of the world responded with a resounding, “Are you f%@king kidding me?!”