It seems simple, really: we trash the environment, we trash the very habitat that our enemies call home. When our beastly foes have nowhere to hide, we can kill them off more easily. That’s just how total war works. We all know that is General William T. Sherman were alive today, he would to the same thing.
But today, another kind of march to the sea is needed. Though it may be winter here, in Australia, it’s summer (toilets also flow backwards, it’s like Bizarro America). Summertime means more people at the beach, which also means an increase in shark attacks.
Surprisingly enough, the reason for the shark attacks is not just that animals are out to get us, but that the sharks are going toward cleaner waters, brought to you by those animal-loving hippie pinko environmentalists and their new laws. It sounds like it’s time for a little civil disobedience, doesn’t it?