As Congressional Democrats are trying to prove to the country, babies lead to depression, hence their provisions in the stimulus package for birth control education.
While most Republicans are scoffing at this notion, science has backed the Dems claim: the release of a placenta-produced corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH) does, in fact, lead to post-partem depression.
Furthermore, once the baby is outside of the uterus, the depression becomes airborne, infecting other family members besides mom. The feces cause nausea, older brothers and/or sisters are no longer loved and Dad’s too frightened to ask for an HJ.
Every member of the family becomes a carrier of the baby and its depression, disrupting the bastions of American commerce:
- Movies
- Shopping Malls
- Hospital Waiting Rooms (Pharmaceuticals)
- Strip Clubs
Eventually, the entire economy grinds to a halt, all because of baby.