It was a banner day for birds

Shrimp pâté. Shrimp creole. Shrimp ceviche. Shrimp etoufee.

These are all delicious dishes prepared with shrimp. Also, you would not find them yesterday on US 19, despite having a large portion of the ingredients available.

In Port Richey, Florida, a woman was driving a box truck full of live shrimp. This was seemingly all for not, as a driver, now listed by the police under the category of drunk, sideswiped the truck, causing it to flip … along with its contents. Minuscule arthropod upon minuscule arthropod upon minuscule arthropod came spilling upon the asphalt, flipping about but not sizzling under the hot sun as the accident happened in the early morning. Think less shrimp on the barbie and more shrimp on the cold slab of road.

We’re not even safe in the arctic

A group of polar scientists were testing out a new method of drilling through layers of ice in the antarctic. When they dropped a camera deep into the dark waters, they were flabbergasted to discover a tiny orange crustacean. Shrimp live in the cold and freezing waters of the arctic.

The camera was mounted on a pole. The dark, scalloped ridges you seen in the ice are caused by the special drill the scientists used, which is essentially a jet of warm water that slowly melts the ice away. Once the camera had gone deep enough, they were startled to see this prawn frolicking around the camera – no one had expected any crustaceans beneath the ice in the dark, frozen waters of the antarctic.

Nowhere are we safe from these krilly little monsters. It’s time to reclaim two things that the animals are trying to take from us: the arctic waters and our hunger. Luckily, getting rid of these new found shrimp can solve both problems.

Shrimp are just plain evil

Shocking news this morning, (from what this blog assumes, we just glanced at the story because we were so shocked,) as CNN reports that workers are being abused in the shrimp industry. According to the story, workers are kept in slave-like conditions and are forced to do their shrimp master’s bidding.

This blog takes a stand on human slavery. It may not be a popular view, but we are against it. We are even more against it when it involves animals enslaving humans. Now, humans enslaving animals is perfectly acceptable (hello, milk machines!) and often encouraged.

Folks, there are people in Asia being enslaved by shrimp. This blog can think of only one man for the job.