After years of Jack’s Links’ flirtations in their “Messin’ with Sasquatch” campaign, an international team of
super regular-ass scientists have agreed to meet in Siberia to finally seal the deal and get serious with the legendary beast.
Russia, the United States and China — and four other nations that aren’t normally at each others throats — will form the first coalition of its type: the sharing of research about and hunt of the Siberian Yeti. Local game wardens of the conference location called in the greatest Bigfoot minds of our generation with motion-triggered camera footage of what they believe may be the creature.
Nobody is quite sure what Bigfoot truly is, whether he is a missing link between men and apes, a leftover Neanderthal that managed to get out of our Sapien way or even a medical experiment gone horribly awry. Hell, we’re not even sure if he’s really abominable or just a lovable goof. All we know is that, if they exist, there are only a few of them, so they will be very expensive in rug-form.