Lesbians and gentlemen, if you were worried that 2011 would wind up as bad or worse than 2010, let us state clearly on the first workday of the year:
YES! OH GOD, YES!
Happy New Year, one and all!
Tag: single
Al Gore’s love of metal wins out
Al and Tipper Gore are calling it quits, surprising everyone only two weeks after their fortieth anniversary. While some can’t believe it happened so late in their marriage, most are amazed that they divorced before the Clintons.
In any case, the world has gained a single Al Gore, and–although we rarely get involved–we just can’t help but root the guy on.
So, if you’re single, too, and your sex life could use a human robot, have you considered Al Gore? Here’s what Al brings to the boudoir:
- Handmade anniversary gift certificates for back rubs and carbon emissions.
- Flights on his personal jet to any environmentally-endangered corner of the globe.
- The dirtiest cybersex in the kinkiest chat room on the Internet that he invented.
- Willingness to call “recounts” until sex ends in his favor.
- Slideshows.
- Leonardo DiCaprio.
Your mother as a news provider
Jennifer Aniston said in an interview with Elle magazine that she is unconcerned with her “lonely girl” status. The childless 40-year-old actress has been single since her divorce from frequent People Magazine World’s Sexiest Man winner, Brad Pitt.
As her biological clock has ticked away, she’s been linked to short relationships with Vince Vaughn and John Mayer, but still has nothing to show for it on her finger.
Her career has also declined as she’s starred in stinkers like Rumor Has It, The Break Up and He’s Just Not That Into You, which seem to reflect her lack of a love life or reason to continue living.
But, hey, at least she’s still answering all of our questions about it, right?