A horse is a course of horse, of horse

In the War on Animals, there are certain species that have traditionally been granted a reprieve in exchange for service. Dogs, for one, have been mistakenly classified as “man’s best friend” when we all know man’s real best friend is anyone who will bury a body for you, not just a pig ear. But, another species just can’t make the cut anymore in this day of internal combustion engines: horses.

As part of a new spending bill signed into law on Nov. 18, Congress removed a five-year-old ban on funding horse meat inspections. The USDA stated that there are no slaughterhouses for horses at this time, but it’s only a matter of time before we catch up with Mexico and Canada where they butchered 138,000 for human consumption in 2010.

Although the Guys never stopped eating horse — resorting to even glue — during the past five years, we’re glad that chili con pony is back on the menu.

You can’t escape Jersey

New Jersey is not a place many people who are not Bruce Springsteen want to live. Aside from being a bit on the dumpy side, there is the ever-present threat of bulls running wild through the streets. At least in Spain they tell you when it’s going to happen.

A 1,400-pound bull (roughly 2,800 Double Quarter Pounders with Cheese) escaped from a slaughterhouse in northern New Jersey and dragged police officers who tried to lasso the beast during its 10-block spree. Not only that, but the bull ran at least one light.

Luckily, no one was injured. The bull was sedated and brought back to the slaughterhouse where it faces the death penalty.