Take it from Snee: Time to show personal accountability

Trump voters complaining about not getting their daily dose of cat pictures on social media should be grateful they’re not getting punched like Nazis.

A lot of people are upset about the election still — at least 3 million or so. And that’s not going to change any time soon, especially as the newly inaugurated president restarts the Keystone XL and Dakota Access pipelines, coincidentally shuts down the EPA and National Park Service’s communications with the public and disseminates “alternative facts” to the public through his personal flacks. It hasn’t even been a week into the new administration.

But, there’s another chorus of voices, those who can’t abide these bad feelings and rancor, who know that arguing about politics doesn’t solve anything, who wish we could all sit back and give the new guy a chance, who — let’s not kid ourselves — voted for him.

Do not be tempted by these voices, no matter their relationship. They voted for the “party of personal accountability.” If our anger at their decision is making them feel bad: tough sh*t. In the words of the last president, “Elections have consequences,” and chief among those is feeling bad when we’ve done something stupid that hurts a lot of people. And, brother, nobody prevented an oil spill by being polite. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Time to show personal accountability

You can’t afford to be bigoted

"I'm fired. But who cares? I'm still rich."
“I’m fired. But who cares? I’m still rich.”

It’s important to remember that, while Donald Trump locked up the Republican nomination after categorically suspecting Mexicans of rape and drug trafficking and Muslims of terrorism, he still hasn’t gotten the job of president. He can still blow the second half of the interview by failing to convince enough Americans that he didn’t somehow mean all of that in a racist or bigoted way.

Even more importantly: whether he wins the election or not, Trump will be OK. Even if most of the country thinks he’s a racist, he has enough money — possibly even untaxed money — to say and do racist things. He will be able to retire to any segregated (emphasis on “gated”) community once this is all said and done, safe from the half of the country he’s alternately insulting and paying lip-service to right now.

So, please keep this in mind when you’re about to post something on social media that Trump would say. Ask yourself: “Can I afford to post this?” Because an elementary school teacher’s aide in Georgia and the mayor of West York, Pennsylvania just learned that, no, they can’t afford it and will most likely need to seek out new careers.

‘War on Christmas’ starts earlier every year

Starbucks picked the perfect symbol to capture the 2015 holiday spirit: an angry red cup that runneth over with hot, scalding rage because the barista didn't leave room for cream.
Starbucks picked the perfect symbol to capture the 2015 holiday spirit: an angry red cup that runneth over with hot, scalding rage because the barista didn’t leave room for cream.

It’s only been a week since Halloween (we haven’t even changed our message in the sidebar yet, fer pete’s), and imaginary battle lines have already been drawn in the non-going War on Christmas.

Starbucks unveiled plain red cups that they will use this season, presumably to pedal out America’s peppermint-flavored fixes. Because Starbucks is already somehow a political cudgel for gun rights, one or two of the usual Christian attention whores have declared this an affront to god, whatever the holy spirit is and the only baby with a beard, Jesus Christ himself. (Fun fact: his middle initial, “H,” actually stands for “Himself.”)

This has prompted a far larger crowd of perpetually eye-rolling online activists to prop up those one or two angry people as the Official Christian Response to Starbucks, effectively doing a better job of spreading hypocritical Christian angst than the Westboro Baptists. (That’s how we found out about this whole to-do, not because of Pastor Dave’s blog post/call to boycott.)

Meanwhile, Starbucks is doing better than ever, selling coffee to both the aggrieved (who are “tricking” baristas into writing misspelling “Merry Christmas” on their cups by saying that’s their name) and the humanist keyboard commandos alike. Other seasonal causes, like feeding and clothing the poor this winter and Movember, will have to try harder to offend for this kind of success.

The McBournie Minute: Primary season isn’t real

Today is election day in Canada. Our friends are going to the polls today to decide who is going to run their country. But who cares about Canada? We’re just 13 months away from the U.S. presidential election, so let’s focus on that instead.

If your Facebook feed is any indication, it’s primary season, and that’s super important. We as Americans get the rare treat of directly choosing who will head the executive branch of our federal government for a period of four years. On top of that, the current guy isn’t eligible for another term, which means that both parties are trying to figure out who to run. It’s double the excitement, and it’s doubly important we get involved in the process. After all, our country’s future is at stake.

Except it really isn’t important right now. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Primary season isn’t real

The McBournie Minute: Food pictures and other things you’re doing wrong on Facebook

There are a lot of social justice warriors out there. That’s not a bad thing most of the time. Although we all have those friends who seem to hop on Facebook hourly to express their righteous rage about some sort of pop controversy, and connect it to their own cause. What we really need these days are social media justice warriors.

I’m not talking about social media “gurus” or “ninjas” or whatever those step-above-interns are calling themselves these days. I’m saying we need to call out the people we follow on social media when they post something dumb or pointless.

If you’re a regular reader, you know that from time to time I like to update all of you fine people on what is and isn’t polite and considerate on social media. Let’s get into the latest batch. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Food pictures and other things you’re doing wrong on Facebook

Survey: Social media leads to spouses unfriending each other

Married people: get off of social media right now. It’s going to end your marriage.

According to a survey by a law firm in the U.K., social media has caused a significant number of divorces. About 14% of Brits surveyed said they had thought about filing for divorce because of something their spouse did online. Even worse, 25% of those surveyed said they had fights weekly about social media use, and 17% said they fought with their spouse about it every day. Every. Day.

If you and your spouse are fighting about stuff you post on a stupid site on a daily basis, it might be time to block them.

The McBournie Minute: Dying to take a selfie

I like to think of myself as a well-informed consumer of media. I don’t always trust a news source just because it is able to put words on a page. Instead, I read a lot of news and then draw my own conclusions, as any thoughtful citizen of the world should do.

It’s because I am so versed in media literacy that I feel especially good when I work myself into hysterics because of a handful of incidents happening around the world at any given time. That’s why I’m here to plead with you: Please stop taking selfies. Not because it might make you sad if people don’t like them, not because your lady friends will judge you, and not even because it’s a fake word that is now treated like a real one in Scrabble.

Your selfie just might kill you. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Dying to take a selfie

CIA is better at spying on you than being funny

You guys, Kelsey Grammer may be on Twitter to correct your grammar, but the CIA is on it just to make you laugh. Because that’s what good spies do. (All of our knowledge about spying is based on episodes of Get Smart.)

The CIA joined Twitter just one month ago with the yuck-inducer, “We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.” And to celebrate a month on the site without accidentally sending out dong pics, it tweeted this gem:

What a riot! If only they’d been on Twitter for the anniversary of the Kennedy assassination. Gold. Mine. Clearly, the “C” stands for “comedy.”

The dead are slowly taking over Facebook

When you die, your Facebook profile goes on without you. This may not sound like a problem, because it’s nice for your loved ones to have place online to remember you, but there’s a major concern here: we’re about to be overrun by the dead.

By 2065, Facebook will have more dead users than alive. About 30 million users died in Facebook’s first eight years of existence, and that trend doesn’t seem to be going away soon. In the decades ahead, more and more users will die, and Facebook will soon start to look like a zombie haven.

Remember, folks: aim for the head.

Find your one true love in World of Warcraft

If you’re looking to meet that special someone, there’s a good chance you’re looking online. However, you might be looking in the wrong place.

According to a recent study, of the people surveyed who met their spouse online over half of them didn’t meet on a dating site. They met each other in chatrooms (those still exist?), community websites, and even online video games like World of Warcraft. In fact, more people met in online games than on social media.

Spell of enchantment cast.