Tag: socialism

You Missed It: Socialized hyperbole edition

Bryan McBournie is busy this week, currently putting neckties on cats and sombreros on frogs. He really likes sitcoms. As such, I’ll be taking over for your news roundup this week. This is because I’m not busy or swamped with work at the office now; that was yesterday. If you were busy being a former Alaskan governor being granted your own reality show, odds are you missed it.

You got health care in my government

Congress made a fairly historic move by passing a federal health care bill. As a result, nearly half of the United States is horrified by this move, claiming a victim status, with the other near half furiously defending the legislation with a righteous vigor. Truly, the only victims have the been rest of us and our Facebook feed, as we’ve been subjected to nothing but misspelled text arguments. Kids, there is no letter “U” in “federal.”

The games will continue

March Craziness (copyright Bryan McBournie) continues on into the Sweet 16 round. Most of the coverage has been spent on the vaunted Cinderella teams of Northern Iowa, Saint Mary’s, Cornell, Butler and Washington. A lot of news outlets will put a positive spin on these teams, nearly to the point of inspirational. Not this guy. Northern Iowa ruined my bracket for this year and if they go down in a defeat that gives the viewers leprosy, I’m totally fine with that.

Someone’s not living up to their title

A man from Russia managed to solve what’s been decided as one of the world’s most difficult mathematical problems. His reward for doing so? One million dollars and the title of the world’s most cleverest man. He has decided to refuse the money and go back to his cockroach infested flat in Russia. Sounds like someone ain’t quite so smart-like, ain’t’cha college boy?

Who gives a f#%k?

ABC News wants to know what you think about grown-up Joe Biden using the *gasp* F-word at a recent press event!

Weak hearts and simple minds are allegedly a-flutter because the Vice President described the passage of health care reform as “a big f#%king deal.” Was he wrong? Does it not matter? Even if you disagree with the bill, doesn’t the ushering-in of socialism merit a “BFD?”

How are you handling Joe’s language? Do you need to sit down? Maybe a nice warm glass of “Go f#%k yourself” will calm your prissy nerves.

Gov’t declares war on vampires (robocalls by proxy)

Somebody at the FTC must have received a prerecorded sales call, because they’re finally making the practice illegal. As of Tuesday, September 1, it will be illegal for businesses to place unsolicited calls. So, just like vampires, they can’t come in unless you invite them.

Wait a minute … September 1 … that’s only 6 days away from … Labor Day …

Oh. My. God. It’s finally happened! The U.S. government has declared war on capitalism and is ringing in the new Socialist year by reigning in the auto-dialing invisible Hand of the Free Market!

And if you don’t believe us, politicians are exempt from the ban!

Damn you, Obama! WE WILL BE HEARD!

Take it from Dr. Snee: More like ‘healthcare retard,’ amiright?

The doctor* is in the hizz-ouse!

It’s been a while since I’ve answered questions, but your insurance coverage ran out a long time ago.

Unfortunately for my golf game, President Barack Obama is trying to push healthcare reform through–which means more questions for me–and if it passes, I might have to actually practice medicine* for once!

So, let’s get to those letters and, if we have time, a town hall meeting! Continue reading Take it from Dr. Snee: More like ‘healthcare retard,’ amiright?

The McBournie Minute: Socialism is all around us

In the U.S., we often pride ourselves on living free. We can kind of get dramatic about it sometimes (“Give me liberty or give me death.”), but overall we consider ourselves the greatest country in the world. But little by little, we have seen our country become infused with some very un-free and un-capitalistic points of view. We have been the creeping of socialism. We’ve been hearing a lot about it lately, and our president-elect is about to roll-out his plan for the socialist state.

This is simply not acceptable. We need to take a harder look at what our government is doing and how it is slowly slipping away from its purpose. Luckily, my watchful eye has found some examples. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Socialism is all around us

Obama is British, too???

Just when it seemed like Obama was just about everything (black, white, Hawaiian, secret Muslim, a woman named Frieda), John McCain peels off yet another layer off of this onion of hope: he’s also British.

“He’s always been in the left lane of American politics.”

The left lane, people, like where the British drive.

You know who else was British? Great Britain. And they also liked to raise taxes: on tea, paper and podiatry. Fortunately, one man stood against those foul-toothed masses and shipped their bangers and mash back to Englandville. That man was John McCain.

So, who are you gonna call when Prime Minister Barack Obama taxes your crumpets and gives them to the unwashed poor? John McCain, who also remembers the Alamo.

His plan, of course, is to continue our system of taxing people with little to no money and give it back to the wealthy who were born deserving it. That’s the American Way™!