Breaking news of the day

A Hispanic woman was nominated to the Supreme Court. California’s court upheld a ban on same-sex marriage.  GM may possibly go out of business this week. North Korea has been shooting off short-range missiles.

None of these headlines compare to the true hot news story: an Alaskan man is now the mustache-iest man in the world.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!